Here's How Fatrick Can Beat Us (EASY) (DIY) (Step-by-Step Guide!)

[JayFirebrand2]

I've been thinking about this. What would I do if I was put in Fatrick's spot at this very moment? How would I solve this troll situation once and for all? Here's what I've come up with. It's quite simple, really.

1. Delete all his tweets. Start fresh.
2. Upload a decent picture of himself as profile pic, get rid of that smug pointing-at-forehead one.
3. Make his Instagram private (nobody other than your friends and family should have access to that shit, you retard)
4. Delete his embarrassing blog. That blog has brought him nothing but humiliation and ridicule.
5. Make his Facebook private, and delete everything except 1 profile pic.
6. Delete all comments and posts from his Reddit account. Start fresh.
7. Delete all videos from his YouTube and make his playlists private.
8. Drop lawsuit, save whatever money he has left.
9. Change his phone number.
10. Ask that stalking podcast to take down his episode.
11. Literally never respond to us ever again. We'd eventually get bored and leave him alone.

Is this so complicated? It would literally take him 2 hours to do all this, and this problem would be solved forever.

Maybe post a picture of Norm smiling on his twitter as a white-flag.

He's so dumb and pig-headed (literally) that he just wouldn't pick the most obvious and pragmatic solution, and will instead keep arguing with us and cleaning up our mess for the rest of his life like a petulant child.

 

[Pringle Can Lothario]

Get a job.

 

[JayFirebrand2]

Get a job.

Let's be reasonable here. He'll never do that.

 

[Jim-sucks-shit]

Let's be reasonable here. He'll never do that.

He'll never do anything you listed.

 

[Opesterino]

A great first step would be to get rid of that stupid fucking profile picture. God everything about him is horrid but that picture and the sweater are the 2 things that bother me the most.

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

He still thinks he's winning the fucking lawsuit when his lawyer is already back in NYC recording the next premium ep of cum town. He's retarded. He won't learn until whatever retard is giving him money stops giving him money.

 

[JayFirebrand2]

He won't learn until whatever retard is giving him money stops giving him money.

Don't talk about his second, better wife like that.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

He still thinks he's winning the fucking lawsuit when his lawyer is already back in NYC recording the next premium ep of cum town. He's retarded. He won't learn until whatever retard is giving him money stops giving him money.

wait, what?!

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

wait, what?!

His California lawyer, poor fella, bears a resemblance to noted fat, ugly, unfunny hambeast Stavros from Cumtown. Other than being called Tomlinsonesque, I can’t think of a bigger insult

 

[guest]

1. Delete all his tweets. Start fresh.

He'd last maybe a week before he was being cunty to people. And a week is probably being generous by about 6 days.

 

[based and white pilled]

Fight for your daughter

 

[fusciasomething]

8. still puts him in the negative
11. would likely do it

 

[guest]

But will he ever admit that Norm MacDonald is funny?

 

[FranksWirecutters]

I can think of one thing he could do involving felony suicide demands.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

He could have defused it all in the beginning with a single tweet acknowledging the Norm backlash in a humorous way and then ignoring any subsequent trolling, but he can't let those idiots win!

 

[SensibleKeks]

Pat will win in the end. We'll get bored of Patposting long before he realizes to just simply ignore the trolls.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

1. Say Norm Macdonald is funny.

That's literally all he has to do. He doesn't even have to believe it. He just has to say it.

 

[guest]

Pat will win in the end. We'll get bored of Patposting long before he realizes to just simply ignore the trolls.

He never really gets completely boring though. He keeps coming through with new material and he keeps engaging. Bro Joe got boring to me because he ignores most of the stuff and when he did respond, he wasn't a completely hateable prick. He still has his moments, the video of him trying to blow his proverbial musical load and someone kept calling him and killing the stream was rib-shattering, especially with the Curb Your Enthusiasm music edited in. But he's at least generally good natured and I can't bring myself to hate him.

But the few times I started to feel sorry for Pat, I would look at his Twitter and see what an asshole he is to just random people and all those feeling go away. I've never interacted with him at all, but I'll continue to come here and make fun of him and laugh at the random reddit dudes fucking with him because he's just shitty to people in general. For me he wouldn't have to just ignore the trolls, he'd have to actually become a somewhat better person. I don't think he's capable of that.

 

[CanISitOnJonsLap]

He's just completely oblivious to the concept of humility and how it can be weaponized against criticism.

Jim Norton is a master of defeating us (and other criticism) via humility. Remember when they roasted his early standup, and Colin & Patrice were furious at his "yeah yeah it was pretty bad" defense mechanism? Shut up and let us roast you, stupid.

Patrick is the exact opposite. Any self-effacing humor will be tame and done on Piggy's terms ("My wife left me a balloon to keep me company! What a wacky marriage!") Any criticism from anyone else, from the serious to the ridiculous, is a conflict he has to win. People have compared it to Lady Di's need to deny ridiculous claims, but Lady Di always had a goofy sense of annoyance whenever they did that to her. No you guys, I don't live on the moon!

But Patrick gets legitimately upset for any "conflict" and misses the damn forest to fixate on every last tree. How many times in his life has he directly denied that someone farted into his wife's vagina? He thinks he's won, hundreds if not thousands of battles, simply by saying no, you did not fart into my wife's vagina. Insanity.

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

2. Upload a decent picture of himself as profile pic, get rid of that smug pointing-at-forehead one.

All his current photos are fat.

Here's one from years ago, and he's still fat.