Wow, Brandon, you might say that was some great communication on Patrick's part. Hint hint.
It begs the question. When all this extraneous communication is taking place during the stay, is Pat doing it strictly through texts/airbnb DM's, or does he insist on marching downstairs in person a la "I'M HERE TO HELP"?
A futher horrifying realization is the mere fact of that thing living upstairs from you. Shuffling around at all hours of the night, trying to shake off his alcohol induced restless leg syndrome. Walls and floors gotta be paper thin, you can hear the little click sounds furiously emanating from the Samsung like the world's fattest bumblebee batting its wings. I once spent a few months living downstairs from a nice normal couple with a toddler, and all that stamping around really drove me nuts. Can't imagine having that same experience but with a 300+lb. gastropod in place of the child.