Has pig actually trained in any martial arts?

[JoshFromMichigan]

He's an expert at abandon akiddo.

 

[JesseTheGovernor]

I’d say he attended a McDojo at best. And if you don’t keep up the practice, your skills deteriorate rapidly. Judging by his Michelin Man physique, he has not kept it up at all.

Also, most people who are long time martial artists generally don’t go around talking about “tying people into pretzels” or “neutralizing people” online. If you go to any reputable gym, you will be humbled incredibly fast if you have that attitude. No matter how big you are, there is always some little wiry 145 pound guy who has been religiously training since he was 4 who can land a combination so hard and fast it makes you feel like you don’t belong. But that’s what it is. Even Mike Tyson got knocked around by fuckin’ Ken Lakusta in his training at various points. Pat’s attitude towards street fighting is indicative of someone who has never seriously practiced. Maybe dabbled, never sparred or did any smokers or god forbid official amateur bouts, but now he thinks he’s a JCVD+Arnold cross amongst his nerd conventioneers cuz he knows how to say “hiya!”.

 

[Jenna]

I still think he did a bit as a kid in one of those shopping mall karate places, which gave him the confidence to be a trained karate master for the rest of his life. Just like how he did a couple open mics and suddenly he was threatening people not to go toe-to-toe with the master comedian.

He does the bare minimum and declares himself an expert.

 

[guest]

His body is a lethal weapon.

View attachment 25572

So Niki filmed this and didn't tell him "No, don't upload it. You're a grown man and you weren't doing it in a goofy self-deprecating way. You'll look ridiculous if you put it on the internet." That's what a good wife or partner would do. Tell you the truth even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear because she cares about you and doesn't want you to make an asshole of yourself.

Leaving us with 3 options.

1) She thought it looked cool, in which case she's as much of a pants-shitting retard as him.
2) She doesn't give a shit about him or anything he does and is essentially a bystander in his life.
Or 3) She's a secret patposter and suggested he do it while she filmed to provide content for this place.

Whatever the truth, he's fat.

 

[HotDogJoe]

So Niki filmed this and didn't tell him "No, don't upload it. You're a grown man and you weren't doing it in a goofy self-deprecating way. You'll look ridiculous if you put it on the internet." That's what a good wife or partner would do. Tell you the truth even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear because she cares about you and doesn't want you to make an asshole of yourself.

Leaving us with 3 options.

1) She thought it looked cool, in which case she's as much of a pants-shitting retard as him.
2) She doesn't give a shit about him or anything he does and is essentially a bystander in his life.
Or 3) She's a secret patposter and suggested he do it while she filmed to provide content for this place.

Whatever the truth, he's fat.

I think somebody else here summed it up best the other day - Niki's one of those women who's just happy to have no agency in her own life. Patrick's retarded level of self belief is probably what initially attracted her to him and made her think he's going places, which it might have seemed like he was when they first met. Now she's trapped in a marriage with him but she's too old/fat/ugly to start a new life and will just sponge off the disability government money she gets for being his carer.

 

[Mikekeke]

He practices Wing Chow and Muar Thai Food. Fat people like us are susceptible to the cognitive dissonance where we think we could throw our weight around but taking two steps up a mild incline makes us dry heave. He doesn't do shit and he never has.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

His parents probably put him in some generic karate school because he was getting picked on at school. That was enough for pat to feel like a lethal weapon into his 40s since he has never had to actually apply it in a fight as an adult. Pat would know what to do in a real fight. He would probably get into a karate stance before getting mopped by his opponent causing people to laugh at him before a punch is even thrown.

 

[Meownaw]

So Niki filmed this and didn't tell him "No, don't upload it. You're a grown man and you weren't doing it in a goofy self-deprecating way. You'll look ridiculous if you put it on the internet." That's what a good wife or partner would do. Tell you the truth even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear because she cares about you and doesn't want you to make an asshole of yourself.

Leaving us with 3 options.

1) She thought it looked cool, in which case she's as much of a pants-shitting retard as him.
2) She doesn't give a shit about him or anything he does and is essentially a bystander in his life.
Or 3) She's a secret patposter and suggested he do it while she filmed to provide content for this place.

Whatever the truth, he's fat.

Option 4 Pat abuses her and she doesn't want trouble.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

He’s proud of twirling a spirit stick. You know the guy he got it from was thinking “fucking tourist”

I bet he's dealt with this exact situation multiple times. There's just fat losers who do that type of thing thinking they're showing off.

The house I got on the school bus at, the dad would be out there every morning, fat and unkempt, twirling a broom handle like that or going up and down the road doing catwalks on a bicycle. Shit that kids do. They also had a trampoline and this lardass would always do flips on it. I remember thinking, even as a kid "This loser is good at all these little tricks with no real world application and he sucks at everything else."

One time when I was like, 11, the guy saw me digging a pond in my yard and was laughingly like "Oh man, you're gonna be in trouble." And I was like "I'm making a pond, my parents are gonna be stoked." He was like "yeah, sure, sure" and didn't believe me. My parents had just got me a book of outdoor projects for kids and told me I could try whatever I wanted. That hole was a legit nice pond within the week. My dad bought the liner and helped me put it in, we made a little waterfall thing. It was awesome. Then this faggot who didn't believe it was possible's pumpkin-headed faggot kids would come over and steal my fuckin frogs. I guarantee that grown man could never do half the job that I did at 11 years old on that pond and I have no respect for him. Fucking jerkoff.

 

[Clint Ruin]

He's a Kung Chew master

 

[RedGlareRecipient]

Bai Dau Der

 

[Meownaw]

Bruce Sara Lee
Jackie Flan

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

Jean Claude Ham Fan

 

[guest]

Steven Can't See His Gal

 

[RaggotFetard]

Pig is well versed in:
Kung Food
Crab Maga
Taekwonton
Taekwondonuts

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

Be careful, he trains in Uninterrupted Food Chomping.

 

[Bin_The_Blacks]

If i knew there was a public video of me with 1% of this cringe, I would kill myself. I am not exaggerating. This video is in the Self-Own Hall of Fame

No, child it only looks bad if you search through it obsessively looking for one frame to isolate. You must be insane, child.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

He did a rape defense course with a bunch of chicks where with every swipe they yell “Get back! Get back!”