Has Patrick S. Tomlinson ever eaten a salad?

[Brooke Shields]

Conventional wisdom says no, but what say you?

 

[CuntFucker .]

Only on a hamburger. That greasy fucking nigger. CuntFucker out.

 

[guest]

I voted no, but now I remember one time he posted a meatloaf monday pic and there was a salad present complete with a classy plastic cup of dressing.

Although maybe he didn't eat it, I just assume that because he's fat he'll eat whatever food gets put in front of him. They probably laugh at him in the classier restaurants (not that he goes there much because he's a rube) because he probably eats the garnish.

 

[DominusOdium]

Nah but he's tossed plenty.

 

[Chive Turkey]

He eats the side 'salad' he gets with his fastfood slop at Hooligans, which consists of a few pieces of wilted lettuce and ranch dressing.

He then convinces himself that he's eating healthily.

 

[HomeRunCumia]

Salad isn't a tough guy food, Child.

Your delusions are diluted with delusions...

 

[DominusOdium]

His idea of healthy living was eating room temperature canned corn and three wilted spinach leaves for breakfast before going to the gym, working up a sweat tying his sneakers and then taking selfies that made him look like even more of a date rapist than he already does.

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

Macaroni salad for sure

 

[FurBurger]

Although maybe he didn't eat it, I just assume that because he's fat he'll eat whatever food gets put in front of him. They probably laugh at him in the classier restaurants (not that he goes there much because he's a rube) because he probably eats the garnish.

I wonder how much plastic garnish he's eaten over the years. "It's good," he mumbled through a mouthful of fake sushi grass, "really fresh".

 

[guest]

Does a taco salad count?

 

[Stent]

Does a taco salad count?

View attachment 32683

Why not? Three pieces of spinach with breakfast corn and toast counts according to fat boy.

 

[ChildlessHambino]

He tosses that shit right over his shoulder and gorges on whatever slop is in his trough

 

[AntSucks]

Probably, actually. "Salad" is a fat person's word.

A fit person with a normal healthy diet will have food with lots of vegetables and they'll just call it a meal.

 

[RaggotFetard]

Technically yes, but in his case, it’s more accurately called eating crops.

 

[RedGlareRecipient]

I was gonna make a joke about him not eating pussy but I remembered that vile “primes the pump” line he had the temerity to say about his wife on the Internet.

But we’re the bad guys here. Okay.

 

[guest]

I don't think he's ever had a vegetable.

 

[SFWA liaison]

 

[guest]

why do you have a poll where it doesn't show who voted for what?

I need to know who to unfairly car crash in unrelated threads

 

[Stetten's Long Thumbers]

He made breakfast once with 3 leaves of spinach and a spoonful of breakfast corn

 

[guest]

He eats the side 'salad' he gets with his fastfood slop at Hooligans, which consists of a few pieces of wilted lettuce and ranch dressing.

He then convinces himself that he's eating healthily.

Where I used to live in NEPA, you could order Antipasto in most of the Mom & Pop Italian restaurants. It wasn't like a traditional antipasto with meats, cheeses, olives, etc. This was basically an Italian sub without the bun. The only real vegetables in it was some iceberg lettuce and tomatoes. Then there was ham (gabbagool), salami, pepperoni, cheese, onions, spices and vinegar and oil. It was good, but I wouldn't call it healthy. I had a friend who would order a large of these with extra hot peppers and extra dressing because "I need to start eating healthier". I haven't talked to him in probably 10 years but come to think of it, he was a lot like Rick. A fat, broke loser who frequented the same bar nearly every day.