Funny being fired stories

[MunchausenByProxy]

I had a construction job when I was 18 and the celtics were in the finals

Was it the 80s or the 2000s? I can never tell on this forum.

They didn’t have enough plates for an entire night? To be fair, I only worked in two nice restaurants. Dishwashing is kind of whatever but every place I worked at had enough plates to at least last two hours.

I very briefly washed dishes at a pizza place with a bunch of Mexicans and it fucking sucked cock. I couldnt keep up with them and they were always mad at me for being slow. Like relax Hector, some of us didnt grow up shucking corn by hand 70 hours a week.

 

[Prince Bvstin]

Me and my workmate got a written warning for playing correspondence chess using that windows batch script thing. They'd been watching our screens and figured it was pretty much the only thing we did there all day. I took my warning but he drew the novelty cock and balls shooting jizz on his and was immediately fired. They let go of me not long after for taking too many sick days.

 

[guest]

Was it the 80s or the 2000s? I can never tell on this

2010 when they lost to the Lakers. Kendrick Perkins got hurt and that motherrrfucked us. Faggot Pau Gasol and that 4th quarter free throw contest

 

[Stent]

Not really fired but I worked for a gas station and was supposed to be on-call if necessary. I got a call first thing in the morning during the weekend asking me to go in. I said no and simply never went back again.

The lady boss had said she would fire me if she could during a meeting not long beforehand, so I'm not sure what the dumb cunt thought would happen after hearing that. Guess I was meant to buck my ideas up, knuckle down, and apply myself. Stupid cunt.

 

[guest]

They didn’t have enough plates for an entire night? To be fair, I only worked in two nice restaurants. Dishwashing is kind of whatever but every place I worked at had enough plates to at least last two hours.

Yeah ordinarily it wasn't like that but it was a busy Sunday AND we had gotten a bus. I think what had probably happened is that I got pulled off dishes to go help cook because of said bus and this was the aftermath.

 

[bantadant]

Never ever ever? I bet you graduated from college.

Fucking got me and my Bachelor of Science (BS- lol) degree

 

[TheNanaDook]

I guess it’s fired, but I’ve walked out of 2 jobs mid day. One was GameStop when i was 19. They had been cutting back my shifts because i didn’t sell their jew subscriptions and presales, and the assistant manager pissed me off, so i walked out and never came back. No big loss.

Second was a $150k/year job running the development of a pretty large software as a service company. I had been courting another job and hadn’t made up my mind yet, but the head of finance gave me lip in a meeting and the CEO told me i had to listen to him, and i realized i didn’t report to that sniveling little manlet, so i walked out and went day drinking with my dad and floating around in his pool for a few weeks.

 

[Carl Winslow]

out of all the jobs I had, only been fired from one. I put $2 stickers on dog bones that were $1. The boss was freaking out; saying I was costing him thousand's of dollars that day. lol, ok. most of the workers didn't care for me because I didn't smoke the weedsssss.

I knew I was near getting fired but what really tipped him over...

They had a outside tent sale where they put these thick poles/fences around the tent and lined the fence with stacks of hay. This was right next to the main building. Some fire chief drove by and put my boss in his place saying that's a 3 alarm waiting to happen. So he went around taking it out on other people.

 

[Dog Eater]

Never been fired from any job. I’ve fired a few people though. One of the best ones was this HUGE dyke bitch with a flock of seagulls haircut. She was physically unable to do the job due to being so unfit and fat. She waddled out of the building sobbing because she was financially fucked due to spending all her money on Funko Pops and some speed bump of dog.

 

[BUBBLER]

My friend got fired for eating someone's (lunch/dinner) that was in the employee lounge's refrigerator. It was two basic ass tacos. The person bitched about someone eating his food and HR checked on the cameras and saw my buddy chowing them down. Fired him shortly thereafter-

I've never been fired. When I've had enough/bored whatever, I just walk away.

Nigga should have been thrown off the roof of the building

 

[BUBBLER]

dyke bitch with a flock of seagulls haircut.

Fuckin ribs

 

[Dennyislife]

I had a summer job type thing at a theme park. In the last day of the season before closing for the winter they randomly drug tested all the black guys and people who hung out with them and fired a bunch for failing. It was so petty. Most the workers were students so it wasn't even like they particularly cared and would find other work or just focus on school.

If they didn't want them back next year they didn't have to have them back so it really was a fuck off.

 

[BUBBLER]

I had a summer job type thing at a theme park. In the last day of the season before closing for the winter they randomly drug tested all the black guys and people who hung out with them and fired a bunch for failing. It was so petty. Most the workers were students so it wasn't even like they particularly cared and would find other work or just focus on school.

If they didn't want them back next year they didn't have to have them back so it really was a fuck off.

Probably did it so they didn't have to pay the last check, scumbags

 

[Dennyislife]

Probably did it so they didn't have to pay the last check, scumbags

From what I remember they were paid. Was paid hourly for work done. They didn't take that away. It was weird. Maybe they suspected them of something else and this was all they could get on them to make sure they didn't reapply next year I dunno.

One of the guys I worked with is a stand up comic now and even gets some work on the bbc and he wasn't as funny as some who got caught in the sting.

 

[guest]

Probably did it so they didn't have to pay the last check, scumbags

Maybe unemployment? When my brother worked at a country club when he was in HS, the club was closed January and February and he collected unemployment. Might be the case here.

 

[Dog Eater]

It was weird.

Maybe unemployment?

Could also be that they were signed up for that federal anti drug program where they got money for drug testing staff, but didn’t want the hassle of having to fire people when work needed to be done.

 

[Dennyislife]

Could also be that they were signed up for that federal anti drug program where they got money for drug testing staff, but didn’t want the hassle of having to fire people when work needed to be done.

Was in the UK. I was only 17 but not aware of any similar rules but I guess there might be.

 

[Dog Eater]

Was in the UK. I was only 17 but not aware of any similar rules but I guess there might be.

The only logical conclusion then is that they just hated niggers.

 

[TheNanaDook]

The only logical conclusion then is that they just hated niggers.

I mean that’s reasonable

 

[guest]

The only time I got fired was a shit gig in college where you cold called graduates or their parents and asked if they wanted to donate money to the university. They gave you this stupid script where some of the points to convince them included "Did you know that [name of university] only gets 1.5 billion dollars a year in funding from the state?" Like some broke liberal arts graduate that's 50K in the hole is going to sympathize with that. The job sucked ass, so I'd cope by showing up high every day. Sometimes I'd bring in a big vanilla coke that I poured Captain Morgan in and drink on the job. One time, at the peak of my hard drug experimentation, I showed up after parachuting a morphine pill. Not sure if I did it right to get the full effect, but I was definitely nodding out at work. I'd also hit on every girl that worked there, with varying rates of success, leaning towards striking out and making them uncomfortable most of the time.

Eventually the manager douche pulled me in the office and said "You're fired." I acted shocked "What? Why?" He said "You know why." I ran through all the aforementioned reasons and couldn't figure out which one it was. "You've been hanging up on people. We told you not to do that." It dawned on me that they were monitoring my calls and any time it was an Asian or an Indian name, I'd hang up before they answered because I knew they were cheap fucks and didn't want to deal with the hassle. (Not that I blame them. Who the fuck would donate to that bullshit cause?) A few months later I saw the manager at some auto repair place as I was driving by. I yelled out "Hey Nathan! You fuckin faaaag!" and he looked annoyed so it felt pretty good. The guy would wear these goofy fancy dress shirts like an Arab at a nightclub so missed opportunity to say "Nice shirt, stupid" unfortunately. Can't win em all I guess.