I don't got any good ones featuring me but there's one involving a friend of mine. Bless his soul, his thing is talking to women. He's got a girlfriend now but when he was single he would just talk to girls for hours and not even make a move. One time he gave a girl a serious eating disorder where she gained over 100lbs in a couple months because they developed this deep emotional bond and then he didn't want to date her. It was like fucking Violet Beauregarde, you know her as this tiny little thing and suddenly one day she's a marshmallow.
Anyway we're working at this job, do your shift take your break, and during his break he'd call girls until his next shift. Doing this REALLY pissed off one of the managers. But this manager wasn't really needed, everything was running just fine without him. So the manager would spend literally 90% of his shift on the phone, talking to god knows who. Bark an order at you in the morning to remind you he's your superior then you wouldn't speak to him the rest of the day.
So one day, plenty of customers around, my friend's on break on the phone and the manager snaps at him. I TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES TO NOT BE ON YOUR PHONE IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN IM GOING TO OFFICIALLY WRITE YOU UP. My buddy explodes back in rage ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU'RE ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY! I AT LEAST WORK YOU'RE GETTING PAID TO DO NOTHING! The manager backpedals and says those are all business calls and not personal. They send my buddy home.
Next day is my day off, my buddy goes into work and of course all the big managers call him into a meeting and fire him. But he goes absolutely scorched earth on the one manager about how useless he is and blah blah blah. Calls me up around 10am waking me up with "Hey Jenna I just got fired, wanna get day drunk?" So we get shitfaced, work calls and says they need him to clear out his locker by the end of the day or everything will be thrown out, now I'm shitfaced at 2-3pm going to my job with the guy they just fired. Everyone's nudging me for details and gossip and I'm just like
it's a tricky situation.
He clears out his locker, talks to a few people to tell them what happened, getting ready to leave when he comes across the manager again, the manager at this point fucking HATES him and you can see it on his face. My buddy smirks and says "you realize I just got you fired too asshole? Now everyone knows how worthless you are". And sure enough, manager didn't get fired, but when his contract ran out that was the last you saw of him.