Does anyone here see prostitutes?

[CuntFucker]

No, never

 

[aRTie02150]

I see them all the time, with my eyes.

I do wave hello to them though, they always wave back. I'd never pick one up though.

 

[Cumtown Fags]

Does a Fleshlight count?

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

Yeah she had dried cum breath. You make out with her? If you ever go to a brothel or massage place with happy endings they never wash themselves before moving to the next 'client'. Norton talked about on air how he was with a whore from the Bunny Ranch and her body smelled like dried saliva because the previous guy had licked her shoulder and her tits.

Yeah but in a day or two everyone forgets about that feeling and you go right back to being raging and horny again.

I never heard that Norton story, God damn that turned my stomach

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I see them all the time, with my eyes.

I do wave hello to them though, they always wave back. I'd never pick one up though.

That’s just common courtesy.

 

[SpaceEdge]

Did you find that out the hard way?

I gave her 50 tokens and she wouldn't even look at me!

How many have you decapitated during those long hauls cross country?

Met a lot lizard who gave me head in Mississippi, I dumped her head in Tennessee

 

[PickleRickle]

Usually been good experiences? Any awful ones?

Mixed bag. You always feel like you need an acid bath afterwards, no matter how sexy it was or how hard you came. Every itch afterwards will freak you out, every little abrasion or scuff on your dick will make you think you're coming down with aids. Its an anxietyfags worst nightmare. Dont fuck a niggerhooker, thats 7 years of aidsxiety to go through.

 

[PickleRickle]

I fawked a chink broads face right into an early retirement I believe. Didnt see her ads anymore after our tango. Either that, or the chinese spy gave the future leader of the resistance aids so she dipped out.

 

[JamieConway]

Usually been good experiences? Any awful ones?

So I've had mostly good experiences. I've only had 2 sketchy ones and they were both "independent" girls on the web (I could tell they were on drugs and acting weird). Every other time I've used an agency and it was good because they have to be sober and decent looking when they show up, otherwise people will call back and let the owner know this is bullshit, which they obviously don't need if they want to build their reputation. It's more expensive but i say it's worth it.

 

[Bumley]

Currently, I have an old lady who gives me long handjobs every couple weeks or so. 100 bucks. I could do whatever I wanted, but handjobs are my preferred activity. Lay back and let her do what I tell her. She has lots of cats and smokes like a freight, but looks decent for late 50's. She ain't scamming, either. Being comfortable is paramount and she gives that.

Agency sent me a Colombian youngster a few months ago. 20-24 I'd guess. She was dressed like an 80's movie streetwalker. Glitter and ridiculous 3 inch boots. I hated it. Her "script" was awful. Probably the least satisfying sexual experience ever.

I'm fairly new to being a john. Seems like a lot of bullshit out there. I'm sticking with the old lady for the foreseeable future.

 

[not that Jack Horner]

i see your mom regularly

 

[LingerLonger]

So I've had mostly good experiences. I've only had 2 sketchy ones and they were both "independent" girls on the web (I could tell they were on drugs and acting weird).

That reminds me of another hilarious Norton story. Where he and some of the comics hired a prostitute to bang (maybe Keith and Bobby). And when she showed up she was a black crackhead who was several months pregnant. And began lighting up her crackpipe in front of them. But they all banged her or got her to blow them anyways because they were sick freaks.

 

[Handsome_Pat]

My friend used to run VIP services for the Rio in Vegas. I’ve dabbled in the past and this is the advice he gave me:

Good rule of thumb is that if you’re finding these hookers online you’re going to have a bad time. Websites like Eros are basically scams or stings. They never look like the photo. Also if you’re not looking to spend at least a grand a visit, you’re going to feel pretty gross after.

I had a higher priced escort in Vegas and it was awesome. My buddy had a hookup with a madam and everything was done via text (you are sent the IG profiles for the girls that have up to date photos). But she was over 2 grand with tip and stayed the night (outcall overnights are more expensive). She was clean and I walked away unscathed. Thank god I was promoted to manager at Panera.

As far as STDs, really the only thing you need to watch out for is herpes. It’s a roll of the dice because condoms don’t help. The higher priced ones often have up to date STD panels that show they are negative for HSV-2. Lots of people show positive for HSV-1, but if they don’t have a cold sore you’re probably good. Straight people really don’t get aids and everything else is killed with antibiotics.

You’re honestly just as likely to get herpes from a tinder sloot who is letting you lay on top of her on the first date.

Happy Hunting fella!

 

[JamieConway]

You’re honestly just as likely to get herpes from a tinder sloot who is letting you lay on top of her on the first date.

Fucked and been blown by at least 20 pros in my life...walked away with not so much as a cough. Within 2 Tinder dates I got the clap and possibly hsv1 (my lymph nodes were FUCKED for a month). These days you may as well make your appointment with the clinic the day after a Tinder date.

 

[guest]

Fucked and been blown by at least 20 pros in my life...walked away with not so much as a cough. Within 2 Tinder dates I got the clap and possibly hsv1 (my lymph nodes were FUCKED for a month). These days you may as well make your appointment with the clinic the day after a Tinder date.

Pros as in brothels? Yeah fuck it, pros only for me.

 

[Randy The Rocket Rosentha]

I've never been (genuinely). Do they just makes you feel worse inside or are they worth it?

The Rocket says; if you have to ask that question, a jezebel is not going to cure what ails ya, meshuganah. Never mind what vd will do to your schmeckel. you’ll be davening on the floor next to the commode. I say spend your gelt on something else. Perhaps a ticket to “Slammy Come, Slammy Go” at the Alabama Sportatorium.
Mozol tov, Rocketeer.

 

[Billy Hollywood]

The Rocket says; if you have to ask that question, a jezebel is not going to cure what ails ya, meshuganah. Never mind what vd will do to your schmeckel. you’ll be davening on the floor next to the commode. I say spend your gelt on something else. Perhaps a ticket to “Slammy Come, Slammy Go” at the Alabama Sportatorium.
Mozol tov, Rocketeer.

 

[bantadant]

I never heard that Norton story, God damn that turned my stomach

It was probably a turn on for Jimmy

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

i see your mom regularly

Tell her to call me back please. I need to borrow money.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

That reminds me of another hilarious Norton story. Where he and some of the comics hired a prostitute to bang (maybe Keith and Bobby). And when she showed up she was a black crackhead who was several months pregnant. And began lighting up her crackpipe in front of them. But they all banged her or got her to blow them anyways because they were sick freaks.

I thought that happened when he was younger as in it was in his grandma’s basement.