Do you manipulate your farts?

[Antwan Kumiya]

I manipulate Imgur

 

[TheNanaDook]

Chipotle and Corona and i can about make myself sick. I often try to make them louder and have definitely ripped a few in public that were accidentally full volume.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Threads like this are what its all about

 

[guest]

I don't fart often enough to have bits.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

one of more humorous things is farting a bunch in a car before you get out and it stays hermetically sealed in there.

I dont like this because by the time I get back I no longer recognize it as my own, and it just smells like someone elses fart

 

[BraunsGhost]

The only thing I do is try and "sift" the gas from the shit so I can get the air out. That is only done in emergencies if I have to shit really bad and have no toilet available. That can help lessen to urge to go.

Did that today at work, Brothaman! Lil fucking shit wanted to prairie dog on me but I focused on my Zen and managed to push the air out and that motherfucker retracted. It's now in the toilet as i tap this out.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

WWAWD farting a bunch at office and then just using hand sanitizer to try to cover it up?

 

[Consensual Rapist]

I center my chi, then let my chakra flow through my pants loud and smelly enough to offend the homeless.

 

[guest]

Those metal chairs in school were the best. One year, we had this huge fat kid who was held back the year before. He sat in the back of the class and would let them go all day long. It sounded like cannon fire.

Whenever we would get a subsitute teacher all the dudes would try to fart as loud as they could on purpose to fuck with them...this was like my senior year in high school (grade 12 fpr canadian and euro fags)

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

I am a serial crop duster. Escalators especially. Arrest me

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

The only thing I do is try and "sift" the gas from the shit so I can get the air out. That is only done in emergencies if I have to shit really bad and have no toilet available. That can help lessen to urge to go.

This is the definition of Playing with fire

 

[guest]

This is the definition of Playing with fire

Yeah but it can make the difference between an uncontrollable pressure buildup and being relatively comfortable for a time at least. You gotta really know when it's been sifted though otherwise don't go for it.

 

[guest]

WWAWD farting a bunch at office and then just using hand sanitizer to try to cover it up?

[MEDIA=youtube]zgpqAWYhIR8[/MEDIA]

 

[TomFromNawlins]

Dream girl

 

[aRTie02150]

Dream girl

She's clearly been manipulating her farts for years and definitely wife material.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Yeah but it can make the difference between an uncontrollable pressure buildup and being relatively comfortable for a time at least. You gotta really know when it's been sifted though otherwise don't go for it.

You're gonna dump a fat load in your pants one of these days and we'll induct you into the diaper chat

 

[guest]

You're gonna dump a fat load in your pants one of these days and we'll induct you into the diaper chat

if i am ever going to for sure shit my pants ill just take them off and shit wherever i am. maybe some day someone will make a gif of me shitting in some random spot after i get caught on security camera but i doubt it

 

[Uncle Floyd]

You're gonna dump a fat load in your pants one of these days and we'll induct you into the diaper chat

I had been drinking with buddies when a girl I was trying to fuck texted me. So I asked one of them if they could drop me off at the bar she was at on his way home.

Felt my stomach gurgling and fought to hold this gasser in. When we finally pulled up, I couldn't hold it anymore and let out a slow, bubbly stinker. A really bad one. As I got out, I heard him shout "what the fuck!"

Only problem was I shat myself. Goddamned microbrewery was probably using water from the Potomac. I shuffled inside, saw her, told her I needed to use the bathroom and I'd be right back.

Spent about ten minutes cleaning up the mess which, thank God, was contained in my underwear. Nothing seemed to have gotten on my pants, so I wiped my ass and balls, tossed the skivvies and washed my hands about seventeen times to get the shit smell off.

When I got back to her she said, "Oh my God! You were totally throwing up in there! Hahaha!"

Yep. Throwing up. That's what I was doing. Ha ha ha.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

I had been drinking with buddies when a girl I was trying to fuck texted me. So I asked one of them if they could drop me off at the bar she was at on his way home.

Felt my stomach gurgling and fought to hold this gasser in. When we finally pulled up, I couldn't hold it anymore and let out a slow, bubbly stinker. A really bad one. As I got out, I heard him shout "what the fuck!"

Only problem was I shat myself. Goddamned microbrewery was probably using water from the Potomac. I shuffled inside, saw her, told her I needed to use the bathroom and I'd be right back.

Spent about ten minutes cleaning up the mess which, thank God, was contained in my underwear. Nothing seemed to have gotten on my pants, so I wiped my ass and balls, tossed the skivvies and washed my hands about seventeen times to get the shit smell off.

When I got back to her she said, "Oh my God! You were totally throwing up in there! Hahaha!"

Yep. Throwing up. That's what I was doing. Ha ha ha.

One of the few times you'd be trying to avoid a BJ. There's no way that shit was inspection ready after your hasty freshen up.

On a side note, it must be hilarious the number of shitted-up skivvies that are found in bar bathroom trash cans on friday and sat nights

 

[TheGhostOfBernellTrammell]

WWAWD fake farts? Sometimes it's still a good bit. You know that one technique where you press your mouth into the crook of your arm and blow? Next time you try it give your arm a good lick right there and there will be a lot more of a wet fart sound happening and it will also be louder than usual.