Legitimate question I'll pose to the group. I was asked to join the esoteric brotherhood tonight at a business dinner and I'm 50 / 50 on the whole thing. I'm a little drunk, but here are the pros and cons as I see it.
Pro- Community and brotherhood. I like the idea of leaving work a half hour early, swinging by my local masonic lodge, and chatting with my fellow brethren about killing Gooks in Vietnam or how Reagan reinvigorated American Exceptionalism. As a gentleman in his mid thirties with a deep appreciation for 1) history and 2) stories about things considered possibly heroic, possibly war crimes, this holds great appeal for me.
Con- Gay stuff possibly required. I enjoy a Michelob Ultra as much as the next man, but that's where I draw the line. Plenty of secret societies claim to trace their roots back to Ancient Greece and we all know what that implies. I'm 86% sure the gentleman who extended me the formal invitation is straight. He's got a beautiful wife and plenty of kids. He's also never had pneumonia and I've noticed the gays love to contract and die from pneumonia (ex. Liberace). But 14% of me suspects he might be queer. About a year ago, I remember this gentleman telling me he shopped at Target... and that seems like something a gay man would do.
Pro- Being a puppet master to the world. According to black people on the internet, the Freemasons and the Illuminati control the world. I came across this little fact while doing some research this evening. Color me shocked, I was under the impression that the Jews ran everything. But they don't. It's the Freemasons and Illuminati. Not entirely sure if they are the same group but every piece of Antique Farm Equipment on Twitter seems to think they rule everything. This holds great appeal to me because 1) I like power and 2) I like the idea of subjugating people I deem lesser than myself (ex. Fast and Furious fans, Italians, Honda CRV owners).
Con- Community Service possibly required. The word on the street is that Freemasons take their community service very seriously. That's all well and good, but I don't exactly love the people that live in my community. My neighborhood is awesome, but we're... unique. Like our ancestors who ventured out West into the unknown, myself and my neighbors ventured deep into the heart of the jungle and brought with us a Chipotle, a Whole Foods, and plenty of fusion restaurants. But did we get any thanks for bringing civilization to the local populace? No. We didn't. Instead, the natives just steal our Amazon packages.
Pro- Lodge Access & Networking. I do believe every Masonic lodge has a stocked bar. It's my understanding that these installations are basically VFW halls for civilians. I like the idea of being able to drink all day in a private establishment that prohibits women from entering. I'm happily married, so I'm not looking to pussy hound. I also like the idea of rubbing shoulders with titans of industry.
Any 32nd or 33rd degree Masons lurking that could provide some insight?