could pat reasonably defeat a silverback gorilla if he was armed with a 1717 charleville standard issue french line infantry musket?

[BigSexyDaddy123]

Is this a reasonable competition?

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

No he would spill powder everywhere and then look like the red-faced and crying soyjak meme

 

[captain_kamala]

That boy looks like a Silverback gorilla. And if you squint a little....

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Would you rather be raped by a silverback gorilla or a miniature pony? The pony is small and adorable, but it's got a very significant rod. The gorilla has one of the smallest rods in the animal kingdom, but it's a gorilla and it can really grab you by the hips and pound that little thing into you.

 

[CuntFucker .]

Would you rather be raped by a silverback gorilla or a miniature pony? The pony is small and adorable, but it's got a very significant rod. The gorilla has one of the smallest rods in the animal kingdom, but it's a gorilla and it can really grab you by the hips and pound that little thing into you.

If Aristotle and Plato couldn't definitively answer that question, how am I supposed to do it?

 

[UnPRePared]

Would you rather be raped by a silverback gorilla or a miniature pony? The pony is small and adorable, but it's got a very significant rod. The gorilla has one of the smallest rods in the animal kingdom, but it's a gorilla and it can really grab you by the hips and pound that little thing into you.

How about a capybara?

They're chill.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

How about a capybara?

They're chill.

I could never allow an amphibious rodent to enter me, Ray. We're talking silverback gorilla or miniature pony here. Which one are you taking?

 

[FranksWirecutters]

How about a capybara?

They're chill.

I'm taking my wife to the park in Florida you can cuddle them. They eat them in south America and I want to throw one on the smoker.

 

[CuntFucker .]

How about a capybara?

They're chill.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

There's more to consider too. Where a miniature pony can't really make you suck his dick, a gorilla can. You might say "the pony wouldn't be able to rape me, Abe." Think again, fuckface. Let's say you're in the pony's muddy, shitty pen and you're only wearing those old timey long johns with the ass flaps. The pony could bite the ass flap open, ram you down in the shit and just rape the living hell out of you. I stay vigilant. Whenever I'm in the presence of an animal I am hyper aware of every way they could possibly sexually violate me and any objects I can use as self defense tools.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Fine. If none of you fucking cowards will answer my question, I will:

I pick the gorilla. And I'd bite that gorilla's tiny little cock off.

The gorilla's probably gonna want you to blow him a little before he rails you, since he has hands to force your head down with. When you get there, just bite his prick off and run. Biting a gorilla's dick off would totally incapacitate it, right? Jamie, look up if biting a gorilla's dick off incapacitates them.

 

[UnPRePared]

Fine. If none of you fucking cowards will answer my question, I will:

I pick the gorilla. And I'd bite that gorilla's tiny little cock off.

The gorilla's probably gonna want you to blow him a little before he rails you, since he has hands to force your head down with. When you get there, just bite his prick off and run. Biting a gorilla's dick off would totally incapacitate it, right? Jamie, look up if biting a gorilla's dick off incapacitates them.

I choose death, personally.

I can't go Gorilla, because I've seen Trading Places.

I can't go pony, because that's like taking the innocence from a child. They're the Warwick Davis' of horses. I will not sully them!

Why couldn't one of the options be a platypus? Now THAT'S FUNNY!

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I choose death, personally.

I can't go Gorilla, because I've seen Trading Places.

I can't go pony, because that's like taking the innocence from a child. They're the Warwick Davis' of horses. I will not sully them!

Why couldn't one of the options be a platypus? Now THAT'S FUNNY!

It's no fun if it isn't a difficult decision. Everyone wants to be raped by a platypus because it's just silly.

Also, the pony would be sullying YOU in this scenario.

 

[Brooke Shields]

Fine. If none of you fucking cowards will answer my question, I will:

I pick the gorilla. And I'd bite that gorilla's tiny little cock off.

The gorilla's probably gonna want you to blow him a little before he rails you, since he has hands to force your head down with. When you get there, just bite his prick off and run. Biting a gorilla's dick off would totally incapacitate it, right? Jamie, look up if biting a gorilla's dick off incapacitates them.

if you're saying the raping isn't a guarantee with a chance to run away then I'd definitely chose the pony rather than the gorilla who can catch me while escaping and then kill me while raping me.

No tiny horse is gonna get me in a position to penetrate my holes, and they're short enough to kick in the face. A big one could knock me out, but not a lil feller

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

if you're saying the raping isn't a guarantee with a chance to run away then I'd definitely chose the pony rather than the gorilla who can catch me while escaping and then kill me while raping me.

No tiny horse is gonna get me in a position to penetrate my holes, and they're short enough to kick in the face. A big one could knock me out, but not a lil feller

You're underestimating your opponent. Big mistake. Costly mistake. The cost is hard pony rape.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

None of you faggots know shit about miniature equines.

 

[Lard Glug]

 

[Turry Fawks]

I'll take my chances with the pony. Might as well enjoy it.

 

[Turry Fawks]

This guy knows what's up