Chef Joe's Food Megathread

[RealTonySchiavone]

No bacon, egg, cheese on a roll this morning… Day 1 of an old school no-sugars, no-carbs, only healthy fats diet. 6 small healthy meals/snacks day and a lean and green (6oz meat and salad) at night. Not drinking much alcohol at all, so to quit altogether is no big deal. Back to Sashimi, and NO FOOD AT ALL AFTER 8pm.
I’ve been feeling like ass since putting on 40lbs over the last 2 years…Lower back fucked up, can’t bend straight over to tie my sneakers without breathing hard, feels like I’m laying face first on a basketball if I try to get a tan on my fat ass…
A high weight of 250 today folks. It will only go down from here.
ANYONE CAN DO IT. Takes will power and the desire to feel healthy overriding the desire to eat food that tastes GREAT. I quit smoking and (backmin the day) blow…cold turkey. Just stopped at will.
If you follow this plan and get your body into “fat burning mode” (takes about 2 weeks of hardcore diet adjustment) WITH NO CHEATING…and the weight will fall off of you like a terminal AIDS patient. ? ?
(No offense AIDS patients….) ?
Goal- 210lbs…
PS- I cover my fatness up well. Being 6’ 1” helps big time.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Why the fuck does he think he needs to break down the recipe and cooking process? People know how to make soup, Joeseppe. They can also see the picture so they know what's in it.

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

Well, he's definitely a better cook than Pat. Though three fucking cans of broth and no water to thin it out is insane.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

One ounce lean ham cubes, with WHOLE fatty mayo, as a snack.

 

[ElectricLightKazooII]

I don’t understand his obsession with plantains.

 

[Anthony's Lime Rickey]

I don’t understand his obsession with plantains.

Probably some boomer shit

 

[Cumiace]

I don’t understand his obsession with plantains.

It's a nod to his Caribbean brethren

 

[ElectricLightKazooII]

I totally forgot about his trashy old Disney cups.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

 

[Ladynyahh]

Don't forget Joe's one genius tip to chew your food slowly

 

[You Got A Problem Pal]

My favorite memory from the keto joe days was how he bragged about losing a ton of weight in a month (it was mostly water and glycogen, not body fat), went off keto, then promptly gained all the weight back less than a month later.

 

[Rick Roblinson]

I assume it's all vegetables and cooked to mush because he's an old man whose teeth are falling out.

 

[NoBacon]

It’s for sure way better than Patrick’s cooking tbh

 

[Andy Elliott]

He has a mug that says "Facebook Jail Inmate"

Fucks sakes the cum bros are both social media obsessed faggots

 

[DooDooBrown]

Nice hobo stew, Joe! Thanks for the in depth instructions but you don’t have to be Gordon Ramsey to understand throwing a bunch of scraps in a pot and boiling the fuck out of it. He already has the fingerless gloves, but for full authenticity he should be cooking that slop over a barrel fire.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Cant wait for Joe to bitch about plantain prices when these import tariffs skyrocket the price.

 

[UnPRePared]

I used to make the most utilitarian and hellish looking combinations of food when I was ketogenic, and I can still say Joe makes the least palatable looking food of any dumb cunt on social media.

Why the fuck does he think he needs to break down the recipe and cooking process? People know how to make soup, Joeseppe. They can also see the picture so they know what's in it.

It's shit. That's what's in it, Abe, shit ingredients that a cow considers fine dining.

Chef Adam could do a better job.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

I used to make the most utilitarian and hellish looking combinations of food when I was ketogenic, and I can still say Joe makes the least palatable looking food of any dumb cunt on social media.



It's shit. That's what's in it, Abe, shit ingredients that a cow considers fine dining.

Chef Adam could do a better job.

We have all had some shitty looking plates. Its the posting photos on social media like its high living. Just eat your food. Especially when its just leftovers all thrown together.

 

[UnPRePared]

We have all had some shitty looking plates. Its the posting photos on social media like its high living. Just eat you food. Especially when its just leftovers all thrown together.

"ANYONE CAN DO IT!"

But you shouldn't, Joe.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

He obviously didnt make this but it is one of his Bacon Egg n Cheese on a roll.