Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it.
Don't kill yourself. Wanna meet up? I can make you feel good. I know, I know, I'm a rapist. But I'm repulsed by that bellybutton thing you have, so you're safe.
Are the suicide hotline people good at talking? Imagine how fucked it would be if they outsourced all those lines to Indians.
"HELLO SAAR YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR, MY FRIEND".
Under Trump the suicide hotline will be all like "Press 1 if you're LGBT" and then you get someone who has really, really good knowledge and tips on how to buy the farm!