Anyone else ever get kicked out of a bar?

[guest]

Years ago I was pissed off my gourd at some bar in DC. Three girls - for some reason - latched onto me. They thought I looked like a friend of theirs and wouldn't let me go until I talked to him on the phone.

If that's what I need to do to fuck one of these bitches, I thought, I can hang around until he gets on the line.

He finally does. He's in England. It's 3am. We chat for a few seconds ("Yeah, mate. So ye gonna fook one o' 'em?"). After twenty seconds I pass the phone back to the hog of the trio.

And then an actual HOT girl walks by. My BDE must have been radiating because we made eye contact and she smiled like I haven't seen a woman smile at me before. Holy Christ. This is the best night ever!

For some reason, I reached out to touch her arm and slow her down. Instead, I slapped her in the face. Bouncer was right there and tossed me out. He was surprisingly nice about it prob b/c he saw it was an accident. But still. "You gotta go."

End of the story. I'm standing outside the bar. All four girls are inside. It's freezing cold. I wait far too long for any of them to come out before I skulk away and jerk off on some bum sleeping in a rat-infested alley on U St. They probably went home and finger-banged each other while the hog ate a jumbo slice.

BDE, indeed.

Another hopeless romantic.