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Actual bouncer explains why Patrick's barfight stories are completely ludicrous

Stent

Stent

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:ninja:: "Hey, I'm looking for Patrick."

😡: "Patrick? He ain't here."

:ninja:: "Yeah? Well go fuck yourself then."

😡: "You sonuvabitch. Why don't ya come down here an' we'll see what an actual tough guy ya are."

:ninja:: "Your mouth, child. It keeps doing that thing."

😡: "You muddafuckin' cyber-terrorist! I'll spoon feed ya yer own teeth!"

6e667042120dc479746a5a82e14ea481.jpg
 
Handsome_Pat

Handsome_Pat

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Proud Boy 1 said:
Very insightful

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I was a door guy at a bar in college. This is 100% accurate. You easily remember the faces of the people who cause problems and just don’t let them in. The worst thing is the guy who tries to be a hero when you’re breaking up a fight, they always make things worse. I was holding my own in a little scuffle & some random dude jumped in to try to “help” me… but then the crowd noticed it’s now 2 on 1, so other people (who were unaware of what was happening) jumped in to even the odds on the other side… that process repeats a couple of times and then half the bar is going at it.

It’s the smart play to always avoid physical confrontation, especially from an insurance and liquor license standpoint. It’s also very easy to get people to leave the bar on their own, even when they are heated. All I would do is approach the individual, say I’ll get you a tequila shot & cut your tab in half if you leave with me right after. It worked 99% of the time. The 1% of the time it doesn’t work, the guy is so drunk to where removing him isn’t really a problem.

Every bar has security cameras, so after Pat’s first ruckus, he would simply not be allowed back in. If he wasn’t the aggressor, he might get a 1 pass, but the second time he gets into a fight (regardless if he started it), he would be banned. Based on his lack of income, there is no possible way he is such a generous customer / tipper to where they would excuse this behavior. His 1 beer and 12 Arnold Palmers a day won’t cover the insurance premiums rising.
 
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Chive Turkey said:
Place looks like a fucking Applebee's yet Jellytits makes it sound like it's the biker bar in Terminator 2.
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Terminator sees Pat.” I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.” Terminator sees Pat’s wearing his Captain America t shirt,the slippers he wore to vandalize his own property and realizing he drives a scooter begins to feel emotion for the first time. It struggles to understand how it, a cyborg can possibly be embarrassed for a person it just met.

He refuses to take any of Pats gay belongings and leaves naked and without transport. He steals a laptop from a nearby Walmart and then steals a sweet sound bar(top of the range) too, just because it was easy to him. His crimes were consequence free and he walked away he even adopted a ridiculously named kid whose dad was in jail for stealing poor quality audio equipment/infanticide.He sought and found gainful emplomen and became a Pat poster. In every way that machine is a better person and has contributed more to humanity than Pat. Although I could say the same for my garage door opener.
 
O-BLOCK NIGGA!

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I think Patrick is angry and deranged enough to where he'd surprise you with his stamina.

Here's the problem: He's out of shape and terribly obese. So even if anger is his driving force; it's finite, and will eventually drain out of him, the more he stays in the fight. Especially if someone younger and stronger hits him in the right areas.

Also: What's this new development with Hooligans? No one answered me last night...
 
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FurBurger

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FUCKING HATE WOMEN said:
I think Patrick is angry and deranged enough, to where he'd surprise you with his stamina.

Here's the problem: He's out of shape and terribly obese. So even if anger is his driving force; it's finite, and will eventually drain out of him, the more he stays in the fight. Especially if someone younger and stronger hits him in the right areas.

Also: What's this new development with Hooligans? No one answered me last night...
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Pat was claiming on Twitter somebody went to Hooligans and asked for him; he claimed the police attended and the bar staff handed over the patron's name and credit card details and thus Pat's Righteous Hammer of Justice will shortly fall on whoever dared mention his name in a bar he frequents.

Surprisingly, there was no entry in the police blotter marking this attendance.
 
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FurBurger said:
Pat was claiming on Twitter somebody went to Hooligans and asked for him; he claimed the police attended and the bar staff handed over the patron's name and credit card details and thus Pat's Righteous Hammer of Justice will shortly fall on whoever dared mention his name in a bar he frequents.

Surprisingly, there was no entry in the police blotter marking this attendance.
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Hopefully, someone from here wasn't actually dumb enough to go to that stupid bar and use a credit card. I'm sure Rick is making all this up but if you're gonna go to Hooligans to fuck with him: BRING CASH.
 
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