You have 12 hours to prepare for a horde of Eric Hildeman’s to attack. You can have any equipment or weaponry you want, as long as you can carry it.

[NoBacon]

You can set up any plan you want, they react like walking dead zombies, they’ll attack en mass at sight relentlessly. They won’t run out of numbers. It will just stop after 1 week. Ammunition is dropped by air when you need it.

How many Eric Hildemans can you take out in the space of a week? (You can pick somewhere you can sleep safely, you have enough food and water for the full week)

 

[ThePepsiColaRapist]

Just piss on his leg like they did in grade school.

 

[Bin_The_Blacks]

Just show them evidence of paedophilia in the SFWA and they'll run away. Easy.

 

[captain_kamala]

his wife would burst into flames if a comb came anywhere near her, so i'd kill her that way and then leave felony condolences on her obituary

 

[The Fuchitive]

his wife would burst into flames if a comb came anywhere near her, so i'd kill her that way and then leave felony condolences on her obituary

I dated a fawkin girl who looked just like her when I was young! Not bad!


(Dan this is a you reference)

 

[VoodooChild]

They say a Hildeman can smell soiled children's underwear a mile away. I would go to the top of the grand canyon and hoist them by strings over the cliffs. If I'm overrun I can just parachute off.

The real challenge will be raiding the new founded Weimer Republic for that amount of children's underwear

 

[guest]

All i need is a chainsaw and a shotgun.

 

[Phish]

Id let my daughters handle it. Its fucking Hildeman were talking about here

 

[guest]

I would hire Chris Hansen to ask them to have a seat right over there. Most likely the horde would commit suicide.

 

[Jenna]

I'd leave a dishonest message on an online obituary and nail it to the door of my apartment. The Hildeman would recoil in horror at the sight like a vampire to a crucifix, for he knows true evil lives inside.

 

[Stent]

I'd only need a podcast mic, if I can get it into the city*, to wave around in front of them. They'd fear being recorded on a non-neutral third party podcast and run into the sea.

*Radio host and stand-up comic Jim Norton reference, Dan

 

[Brooke Shields]

u guy's ever seen how those walking dead zombies kill someone? Just lazy as all fuck teleporting behind someone.

Now imagine they're all pedofiles. My tight child-like butthole doesn't stand a chance

 

[BillyCorgan'sFallenTree]

Fuck Hildy, I'd rather be like Perseus and save the world from his wife's awful Medusa face.

 

[guest]

Fuck Hildy, I'd rather be like Perseus and save the world from his wife's awful Medusa face.

Nice 2500 year old reference, stupid!

 

[BillyCorgan'sFallenTree]

Nice 2500 year old reference, stupid!

She's brutal. Dan fucked up, but saying that he'd fuck her was seriously disturbing.

 

[guest]

She's brutal. Dan fucked up, but saying that he'd fuck her was seriously disturbing.

Imagine how horrible Flavia must be in the sack if he’d rather fuck Eric Hildeman’s troll of a wife. Yuck.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

I'd create a funnel trap with George Floyd nigger nose pics and Obama slogans leading to a tub grinder.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Hilde deserves a strong punch to the jaw

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

You could kill that weak faggot with a pellet gun, hypothetically. Can’t imagine clones would be stronger.

 

[DrSteveCarlisi]

Podcast went down in twelve minutes. Didn’t see the first Hildeman for about a half an hour.

Very first light, chief. The Hildamen come cruisin’. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it’s… kinda like ol’ squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the Hildey comes to the nearest man and that man, he’d start poundin’ and hollerin’ and screamin’ and sometimes the awful podcaster would go away.

Sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that entitled piece of shit, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about Hildeman, his mate's got…lifeless hair, purple hair, like a troll's hair.