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Continued from this post: https://new.onaforums.net/threads/why-did-pat-miss-so-many-days-of-school.14514/post-310730
I dunno how entertaining this shit actually is, but I was a mortifying student. I think I was a disturbed kid, but nobody thought of me because I was a cute little molestable blond. I would draw swastikas and Hitler on any flat surface I could find/get away with graffiti'ing.
In Home Ec one time we were making Indonesian desserts which were awful. There were these sweet green balls that sucked.
It was green sticky God-knows that had like a soy sauce or something sweet on the inside. The green stuff was sticky so the whole point was to roll them in coconut flakes so they wouldn't. So we didn't do that and when nobody was looking we'd throw them on windows of the school buildings, and it took forever for them to roll down to the window sill. I think we felt bad about that one because the groundskeeper had to clean them up and he was based.
I'd nick the dishwashing liquid in Home Ec and squeeze all of its contents into cupboards for no apparent reason.
I was nine when I first saw my first Penthouse (I think it was Penthouse). A girl of all things had a single mother who bought them so she nicked one and brought it to school. I saw a woman licking a cock which had cum coming out of it and I was like "wtf is that shit". There were like four of us looking at smut behind the observatory. Also behind the observatory is where you'd smoke cigs and dope, because nobody used the fucking thing.
I lived close to the school so I tried to take this girl I liked home, and she agreed. My plan was to get her to watch The Big Lebowski with me and drink beers. She had one and I had too many plus some cooking rum so I was stinking drunk and she left and went back to school in disgust.
When I was 11 my first non-serious girlfriend was 12. Didn't last long or anything and she was actually hot in hindsight (nana.jpeg), but when we got into high school she for realz had an affair with the high school principal. I don't know if she lost her virginity to him, but she was kind of a slut anyway.
One of our mum's had made a sandwich that was wrapped in cellophane but it never got eaten, so we left it somewhere inconspicuous so it would rot and get moldy. One day when we wanted to get revenge on this retarded kid (his name was Anthony, lol) we took the rotten sandwich out of the cellophane - I still remember the stench - and we dumped it in his school bag. When I say it was rotten, it was moist, green and black and sludgy.
I didn't do this, but when I was like 8 there was some kid who got bullied by a bigger kid. So, the bullied kid goes home, goes into his dad's garage or shed, and finds this powder that's like rat poison or whatever. He dumps it into the bully's bag, but the way things were back then was nobody had lockers, all your bags would be out in the hallway unattended. The bully's bag was directly underneath a vent, so the fumes went up and circulated around the entire building. The whole school had to be evacuated and we went back like two days later.
I have a nut allergy, so some mornings I'd rub peanut butter on my lips so they'd thicken up and I'd tell mum I was sick to get the day off.
Not school-related, but me and my cousin pissed into our grandfather's work boots one time. I feel bad about that one.
I didn't do it often because reading is for fags, but I'd never check out anything from the library. They all have those sensors at the entrances, right? The library had a media room that was rarely used, and it had open-able windows. I'd take whatever books in there and just toss them out the window and then go outside and pick them up. I was probably the only cunt whose library/media budget card never got used for a penny.
We befriended the nerds because they knew how to use proxy servers to access blocked websites. One student saw a teacher type in her password, so we'd use A TEACHER'S login plus the proxy to download porno + pictures of Trish Stratus. Flash drives back then didn't have a lot of room so you'd have to pick and choose what .jpgs you wanted to whack off to.
Oh and with the proxies, you'd use it to go to StickDeath.com. We also played a lot of Blood, that was a great multiplayer game in the computer room.
Custard tarts were a big treat to buy from the canteen (we didn't have a food court or cafeteria) but often you'd have a couple of bites and then throw them off the balcony onto someone lol. One time - and I had a really bad haircut at the time, I looked like a dyke - I got hit with the custard and my friend called me Butch Custardy.
We had the unhealthiest diets/tastes. Pure white trash. Some kids had parents so trashy, their lunches were an unopened uncooked pack of 2 Minute Noodles that they'd eat hard and cold. We'd go off the school grounds and go and buy hot chips (the canteen's chips sucked) with Cokes. Not even a burger or fish, just chippies. A friend of mine would buy refrigerated meat pies from the supermarket and eat them cold. Disgusting.
Our class harassed this lady teacher to the point of her leaving the school and she wound up telling her story on our A Current Affair TV program. She was an ABSOLUTE CUNT but if she left the room one of us would take our stick of glue and glue up the door handle so she'd get it on her hands lol.
I'll think of more stories later, the memories are flooding back.
I was actually a good-great student - one year I was straight As with one B (In Phys Ed actually because the gym teacher was this Italian faggot who I hated and he hated me) and I had great handwriting, I was great with English and grammar and all that, so-so in maths... but half way through around the time I was 16 I just gave up, I was depressed, I was too horny to concentrate on anything, I was jacking off like mad and I discovered smoking, weed (lmao!) and booze to a degree. I just wanted to listen to fawkin Megadeth and drink out of goonbags.
I dunno how entertaining this shit actually is, but I was a mortifying student. I think I was a disturbed kid, but nobody thought of me because I was a cute little molestable blond. I would draw swastikas and Hitler on any flat surface I could find/get away with graffiti'ing.
In Home Ec one time we were making Indonesian desserts which were awful. There were these sweet green balls that sucked.
It was green sticky God-knows that had like a soy sauce or something sweet on the inside. The green stuff was sticky so the whole point was to roll them in coconut flakes so they wouldn't. So we didn't do that and when nobody was looking we'd throw them on windows of the school buildings, and it took forever for them to roll down to the window sill. I think we felt bad about that one because the groundskeeper had to clean them up and he was based.
I'd nick the dishwashing liquid in Home Ec and squeeze all of its contents into cupboards for no apparent reason.
I was nine when I first saw my first Penthouse (I think it was Penthouse). A girl of all things had a single mother who bought them so she nicked one and brought it to school. I saw a woman licking a cock which had cum coming out of it and I was like "wtf is that shit". There were like four of us looking at smut behind the observatory. Also behind the observatory is where you'd smoke cigs and dope, because nobody used the fucking thing.
I lived close to the school so I tried to take this girl I liked home, and she agreed. My plan was to get her to watch The Big Lebowski with me and drink beers. She had one and I had too many plus some cooking rum so I was stinking drunk and she left and went back to school in disgust.
When I was 11 my first non-serious girlfriend was 12. Didn't last long or anything and she was actually hot in hindsight (nana.jpeg), but when we got into high school she for realz had an affair with the high school principal. I don't know if she lost her virginity to him, but she was kind of a slut anyway.
One of our mum's had made a sandwich that was wrapped in cellophane but it never got eaten, so we left it somewhere inconspicuous so it would rot and get moldy. One day when we wanted to get revenge on this retarded kid (his name was Anthony, lol) we took the rotten sandwich out of the cellophane - I still remember the stench - and we dumped it in his school bag. When I say it was rotten, it was moist, green and black and sludgy.
I didn't do this, but when I was like 8 there was some kid who got bullied by a bigger kid. So, the bullied kid goes home, goes into his dad's garage or shed, and finds this powder that's like rat poison or whatever. He dumps it into the bully's bag, but the way things were back then was nobody had lockers, all your bags would be out in the hallway unattended. The bully's bag was directly underneath a vent, so the fumes went up and circulated around the entire building. The whole school had to be evacuated and we went back like two days later.
I have a nut allergy, so some mornings I'd rub peanut butter on my lips so they'd thicken up and I'd tell mum I was sick to get the day off.
Not school-related, but me and my cousin pissed into our grandfather's work boots one time. I feel bad about that one.
I didn't do it often because reading is for fags, but I'd never check out anything from the library. They all have those sensors at the entrances, right? The library had a media room that was rarely used, and it had open-able windows. I'd take whatever books in there and just toss them out the window and then go outside and pick them up. I was probably the only cunt whose library/media budget card never got used for a penny.
We befriended the nerds because they knew how to use proxy servers to access blocked websites. One student saw a teacher type in her password, so we'd use A TEACHER'S login plus the proxy to download porno + pictures of Trish Stratus. Flash drives back then didn't have a lot of room so you'd have to pick and choose what .jpgs you wanted to whack off to.
Oh and with the proxies, you'd use it to go to StickDeath.com. We also played a lot of Blood, that was a great multiplayer game in the computer room.
Custard tarts were a big treat to buy from the canteen (we didn't have a food court or cafeteria) but often you'd have a couple of bites and then throw them off the balcony onto someone lol. One time - and I had a really bad haircut at the time, I looked like a dyke - I got hit with the custard and my friend called me Butch Custardy.
We had the unhealthiest diets/tastes. Pure white trash. Some kids had parents so trashy, their lunches were an unopened uncooked pack of 2 Minute Noodles that they'd eat hard and cold. We'd go off the school grounds and go and buy hot chips (the canteen's chips sucked) with Cokes. Not even a burger or fish, just chippies. A friend of mine would buy refrigerated meat pies from the supermarket and eat them cold. Disgusting.
Our class harassed this lady teacher to the point of her leaving the school and she wound up telling her story on our A Current Affair TV program. She was an ABSOLUTE CUNT but if she left the room one of us would take our stick of glue and glue up the door handle so she'd get it on her hands lol.
I'll think of more stories later, the memories are flooding back.
I was actually a good-great student - one year I was straight As with one B (In Phys Ed actually because the gym teacher was this Italian faggot who I hated and he hated me) and I had great handwriting, I was great with English and grammar and all that, so-so in maths... but half way through around the time I was 16 I just gave up, I was depressed, I was too horny to concentrate on anything, I was jacking off like mad and I discovered smoking, weed (lmao!) and booze to a degree. I just wanted to listen to fawkin Megadeth and drink out of goonbags.
