WWAWT messy shits?

[MunchausenByProxy]

I havent had a clean wipe or a one wiper in like 4-5 months. Im at the point where its like a 20 wiper everytime. There’s just a pile of mud on my butthole that never comes out that I have to remove with paper haphazardly. Whats going on?
I eat my broccoli like 3 times a week.

I just want to go back to shitting clean logs

 

[guest]

maybe shave your ass crack?
Edit: nvm on second thought thats gayer than clogging the toilet

 

[Jizz]

get some psyllium husk and drink more water and you will be dropping massive hammers and you won't even need to wipe! #DroppinHammers

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

Broccoli might be the issue I ate cauliflower soup last week and my stomach swelled up like a balloon that night. By the next morning I was projectiling battery acid out my poor asshole. I swear that poor lil feller has taken more abuse than any other muscle or organ in my body

 

[Imager]

bidet ftw

 

[bombvest]

take a used plastic water bottle into the bathroom with you, just fill it with tap water. you can pour it down your asscrack and use your fingers to angle the stream towards your asshole, it takes practice but it's not that difficult. it's like a ghetto bidet. do this before you wipe and it'll take way less tp to get clean.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

take a used plastic water bottle into the bathroom with you, just fill it with tap water. you can pour it down your asscrack and use your fingers to angle the stream towards your asshole, it takes practice but it's not that difficult. it's like a ghetto bidet. do this before you wipe and it'll take way less tp to get clean.

ANYONE CAN DO IT!

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

maybe shave your ass crack?
Edit: nvm on second thought thats gayer than clogging the toilet

This isnt the issue. Every couple months I take clippers to my asshole with no guard, and even right after I did it most recently I had the same problem.

 

[HH Brother]

If it bleeds, you can wipe it funster.

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

I have heard say from some very reliable sources that a dick in the ass really loosens ones stool, it will just shoot out of your ass like a erupting volcano, no wiping necessary.

Maybe you could try it?

 

[Meownaw]

Ever since starting probiotics my ass has been clean as a whistle. nice healthy not too hard not too soft logs now. Went from shitting every 4 days to twice daily now. ANYONE CAN DO IT!

 

[Ants Hard Drive of Horror]

Like @Minaw said, probiotics. Your large intestine doesnt have time to dry out your shits because your body is pushing it out too fast, and the reason for that is probably that theres too much bad bacteria that it doesnt want their byproducts sitting around in your colon. Cut down sugars and eat fermented foods.

 

[guest]

bidet ftw

I have 5 bidets, funster.

 

[Meownaw]

I have 5 bidets, funster.

6 if you count Flavia. OHHHHHH!!!

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Broccoli might be the issue I ate cauliflower soup last week and my stomach swelled up like a balloon that night. By the next morning I was projectiling battery acid out my poor asshole. I swear that poor lil feller has taken more abuse than any other muscle or organ in my body

You should stop letting men fuck it.

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

bidet ftw

Coming to the stage, the president of the United States

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

This isnt the issue. Every couple months I take clippers to my asshole with no guard, and even right after I did it most recently I had the same problem.

Do you shave your moustache
or butt hair first

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

take a used plastic water bottle into the bathroom with you, just fill it with tap water. you can pour it down your asscrack and use your fingers to angle the stream towards your asshole, it takes practice but it's not that difficult. it's like a ghetto bidet. do this before you wipe and it'll take way less tp to get clean.

This is genius. I'm going to poke a little hole in the cap of a bottle and use it like a precision pressure washer. Perfect night!