WWAW the useless IT certficiation racket?

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

Any IT firms left out there that aren't startups where OpenSource is not heresy and vendors aren't fetishized to the n-th degree like this?

My fucking employer keeps having me go to these vendors and get their useless slips of paper that accredit skills I've had for years.
Go into IT they said, you'll be evaluated by your skills rather than academic performance they said...
Acting as if companies like Microsoft, Cisco or VMware will never go out of business - tell this to my older coworkers who did 15 expensive Novell certs in the 90s.

The questions are always out of date, vague and meant to shovel as many product names and buzzwords down your throat as you can handle.
It's like two hundred bucks for a curriculum of 100 or so multiple choice questions and sometimes a little lab environment I could shit out in an afternoon.
I guess also some indian guy staring at me over a webcam for a few hours during the actual test ever since we can do them remotely.

(i realize it's all for marketing and putting a shiny badge on your offerings or website - not a really good justification)

I know there's a bunch of you mongrels on here, so feel free to flex any of your do-nothing badges.
25 year olds with a lot of Microsoft certs == guaranteed absolutely useless in any real admin capacity.
You won't change my mind on this any time soon.

 

[DiarrheaDick]

The civil service exam where I live still had questions about punch cards five years ago, and still might. I'm not talking about time clocks either...

 

[Carl Winslow]

Before I got out of the military I was looking into going into IT and got books for the A+ cert...

I never went for it lol. I hate sitting in front of a computer.

 

[Dog Eater]

Cisco

CCNA and up are genuinely good certs that will get you jobs. But for most jobs if you’re working there as an employee not a contractor it’s still the skills that will get you the part. Your employer needs you to get all these shitty certs so when they bid on contracts they can show how skilled their workforce is.

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

CCNA and up are genuinely good certs that will get you jobs. But for most jobs if you’re working there as an employee not a contractor it’s still the skills that will get you the part. Your employer needs you to get all these shitty certs so when they bid on contracts they can show how skilled their workforce is.

Ok then, Cisco shill.

I'm fooling around, I have not one iota of knowledge of the product, but I heard their certs actually cover a lot of fundamentals.

And I guess you're right about bidding on the big contracts, but those are mostly overinflated government or military ones which are the worst customers you'll ever have except the fact they'll empty their coffers for you and pay bills on time.

It's just all so tiresome. I guess 10 years in, five employers later and I'm just a little burnt out and looking for something to bitch about.

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

Fuck Microsoft.

 

[Dog Eater]

Fuck Microsoft.

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

The real question is what are you looking for? Everyone knows its bullshit, but what's your goal? Are you looking to hire some contractors or consultants? Are you looking to get a job? The answer would be different.

All I really want is to not have to open tickets & speak to indian fellows every other day.
I mostly do that to show the customer I care (i do not), while resolving the issue myself before Ranjid even manages to call me on my Prio 0 ticket.

They're just horrible, save for the like 1% who fall into the other end of the bell curve - you'll always have one Curry on any networking or engineering team who'll be absolute wizards and will quiz you like they're a doctor doing rounds and humiliate you with their depth of knowledge.

All of them are subservient cucks who love to suck up to their supervisors and throw their colleagues under the bus. No exceptions.
All of them refuse to learn proper english and insist on saying weird shit like "please do the needful".

In hindsight, this could just be renamed "indian hate thread".
Although I've gone through outsourcing to whites (Poland, Spain and Latvia) and it admittedly wasn't a huge difference.

 

[CuntFucker]

My fucking employer keeps having me go to these vendors and get their useless slips of paper that accredit skills I've had for years.

I think they're annoyed that you keep fucking up their spreadsheets. Time to be humble and learn.

 

[Queefer Sutherland]

Being a Certified OnlyFans Accountant is the only tech job worth a shit.