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WWAW Gruenfeld (short film)

Lamont & Tonelli

Brevity is... wit.
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I'm two minutes in and this already stinks. Cornball narration, "ancient book" that is clearly printer paper glued to the pages of an old building code supplemental. If this guy just came back from a long and arduous quest, why is his armor so clean?
Four minutes: Camerawork and composition is decent, good use of fog, narration is getting worse and undercuts the otherwise effective score.
Six minutes: Why is he walking around with his visor down? There aren't any enemies, nor implication that he encountered any on his hike through the woods. The cut to the meadow was nicely done.
Finished. The tears on his Price Alan bride made of hot glue were a clever touch, and I liked that the Devil buttfucked the knight for his trouble. Good scenery, good props, good costumes, good score, competent but boring editing, bad script. Obvious modern pallet nail in one of the shots.

How to fix this undergrad film student dreck: stain the printouts with tea to match the book, nix the blackmetal album intro voiceover and let the images tell the story. Oh, and put a little dirt on the armor. I'm sure it was expensive and whoever owns it doesn't want to wreck it, but acrylic paint is cheap, easy to remove, and non-corrosive. I would give this a C grade and allow the production team to recut and resubmit if there's time before end of semester.
 
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