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Poll time.
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Would Anthony Cumia, who was approaching 40 during his big break, have found fame and success without the help of Opie?
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I don't know
can you repeat the question?
can you repeat the question?
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He’d be dead
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He could have been a TURD?! on some local jerkoff's zoo crew with great ease. Would he have gotten actual "fame", though? No.
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From who else?
He was never going to be a popular singer. He still isn’t. Nobody knows Rotgut or any of his song parodies. He hasn’t written a parody (or real song) in decades.
He was never going to be Howard Stern’s sidekick, a replacement for Billy West, or even Howard’s intern. Howard kicked him out after like 10 minutes.
For someone who does all these voice impressions, he’s never gotten voice acting work outside of GTA which he was only handed as a personal friend of Lazlow.
He claims to be a radio host, but has never had his own show without the help of his boss Opie. A basement podcast is not a radio show. Even Infowars kicked Anthony off unceremoniously, as he was tanking their ratings.
The fact is, Opie was a talent scout who was willing to take a chance. And it paid off for a while. But it turned out to be mentally and personally taxing. Every entrepreneur with high hopes has taken risks and been burned before by someone they tried to mentor and “shape up.”
He was never going to be a popular singer. He still isn’t. Nobody knows Rotgut or any of his song parodies. He hasn’t written a parody (or real song) in decades.
He was never going to be Howard Stern’s sidekick, a replacement for Billy West, or even Howard’s intern. Howard kicked him out after like 10 minutes.
For someone who does all these voice impressions, he’s never gotten voice acting work outside of GTA which he was only handed as a personal friend of Lazlow.
He claims to be a radio host, but has never had his own show without the help of his boss Opie. A basement podcast is not a radio show. Even Infowars kicked Anthony off unceremoniously, as he was tanking their ratings.
The fact is, Opie was a talent scout who was willing to take a chance. And it paid off for a while. But it turned out to be mentally and personally taxing. Every entrepreneur with high hopes has taken risks and been burned before by someone they tried to mentor and “shape up.”
Opie and Anthony getting famous (as they’ve said before) was lightning in a bottle. Would Opie be famous without Ant? No. But he would be way better off than Ant if he had never met Opie. The Destroyer would be spinning records and making a decent salary in a job he loves. While Nana would be fixing HVACs wanting to shoot himself and chasing any high of “making it”. Nobody ever just “makes it”. You have to have the drive to do so, have good connections, have talent, and be lucky. What does Ant have out of these four things? Only talent and luck, with the talent being slim anyway. Lets not forget it was fucking BRO JOE who pestered every radio station trying to get their parody on. HE made the connection to Opie. Unironically if Joe never stepped up Anthony wouldn’t have been anywhere near Opies studio, let alone the radio at all. But of course to give him some credit, it’s Ant’s talent that got him the job in the first place and allowed him to stay with it for 20 years.
But this is why I don’t like when people talk about Anthonys “genius talent.” You don’t exist being that funny, or that good at song parodies, for 20 years and never get noticed. Why was Opie the only person to give him a chance? Like DMAN said Anthony would be nowhere without the guy. He wouldn’t be in a band and he certainly wouldn’t be broadcasting. Even if Ant were the funniest guy alive he still needed the Opster to show him how a show operates and works.
But this is why I don’t like when people talk about Anthonys “genius talent.” You don’t exist being that funny, or that good at song parodies, for 20 years and never get noticed. Why was Opie the only person to give him a chance? Like DMAN said Anthony would be nowhere without the guy. He wouldn’t be in a band and he certainly wouldn’t be broadcasting. Even if Ant were the funniest guy alive he still needed the Opster to show him how a show operates and works.
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If Nana never met Opie, he would be a 60-something year old man living alone in a squalid, barely-furnished apartment on Long Island, playing video games and drinking to all hours of the night. He would be announcing that he plans to move down south to be closer to his much more successful sister while his brother bleats about soon joining the Carnival Cruise Line Company as an onboard musical performer.
Wait a minute...
Wait a minute...
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He’d be cleaning some rich nigger’s rain gutters.
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Highly doubtful. I could see Nana peaking as a mercurial local cover band scene singer, who's considered to be an acceptable-but-ugly singer/frontman who's notoriously difficult to work with. He'd still have a day job, which he'd constantly bitch about, and he'd always be getting admonished about showing up late, drunk and etc. He'd also be the main beer/coke hookup for neighborhood teens, for obvious reasons.
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There was a funny bit on some Nopie where it was Nana, Bob Kelly and I want to say Derosa. They were talking about Anthony's lucky break and the old gal was like "yeah, it's awesome it happened because this is how my life was supposed to turn out. The alternative would've been miserable." Kelly laid out for him how the opposite was true - how him stumbling into (temporary) fame and fortune was a mistake; a blip in the timeline. How he was basically a loser, was always supposed to be and would be again one day. Despite the HAHA HOLYSHITting, you could hear Anthony was genuinely hurt. The truth can have a way of doing that. Truly prescient from the Fatman
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I think he would have won the Jackie impression contest if he hadn’t said he was on Opie’s show. His Kinison was incredible. I doubt he would have ever gotten the chair. I’m a little fuzzy on how Artie got it since they let a bunch of people sit in to try out. Beetlejuice would have been the obvious choice since his audition was hilariously all over the place.
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Only reason he even went on Stern was because Opie put him up to it as well. He even mentioned Opie on Stern which set off the alarm bells as Howard was already super paranoid about Opie infiltrating or messing with his show. I doubt he enters that Jackie Impression Contest by himself without Opie prodding him and putting him up to it. Anthony needed his hand held constantly.
And even Anthony's getting on Opie's show was because of Brother Joe. Stupid Anthony didn't even have the initiative to reach out to radio shows to send in his song parodies. It was Brother Joe who had to do everything. Anthony will say that Brother Joe's allowance is because of that. But I believe that their financial arrangement is really because of Brother Joe passing Jennifer off to him and Joe knowing about Anthony's dalliances with people like Treefort Richard.
And again, only reason he even met Lazlow is because Opie steered the ship into being the largest radio show and talk show. If you were making a game for adult males the biggest place to plug your game or product was basically O&A. So the biggest videogame franchise at the time, GTA, would become part of the show. Anthony is doing television pilots and XFL gigs and comedy roasts and pro wrestling appearances all with Opie. You can tell that when Anthony started Compound he immediately began fishing for another 'Opie' for his life. Like Alex Jones and Infowars or Artie and trying to capture some of the old Stern audience rather than build something himself.
Not that I can blame him. As building a media empire on your own is impossible now. Opie coming out of nowhere to build O&A could not happen anymore. As everything is so sanitized and controlled now.
Those standups have seen that play out all of the time. A guy comes up and gets famous on SNL or some network show for a few years. He burns through his money with fast lifestyle and divorces Piscopo style. Next thing you know the SNL or Comedy Central money is gone and you are left playing dive bars or working a normal job like teaching or landscaping. The amount of standup comedy burnouts is insane.
Stuttering John is basically this. Was a desperate weirdo loser and huge Stern fan. Hangs around outside of the studio during mornings just to try to interact with the show. Is clearly unemployed and insane. His stutter gets him on the show full time. He launches into the stratosphere eventually landing a Tonight Show gig. It comes crashing down with him now having to be a taxi driver and substitute teacher and destitute with no money. Best part is that the Pests found out where John was 'teaching' and sent old Stern tapes of him doing nigger jokes and got him fired recently.
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John was going to NYU when he was an intern. He was hired because Howard thought stutter equals funny because he has the comedic sense of a 15 year old. Fart man? With his flatulence? That’s his power? Hahahahhaha. They had Mike Judge on and he called MTV as Fartman, kept insisting he was Fartman, and the secretary was like “ha real funny, Howard.” John was one of the best characters on the show ever. He basically ended AJ Benza’s (who) career. I liked when he’d get in an argument with Howard then only put calls through that agreed with him. Plus obviously the celebrity interviews. Getting him fired from his job was a dickhead move though. Shouldn’t have moved to Calabasas and then got divorced. The idea of him being a writer on the Tonight Show is laughable.
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He was a lazy thieving bum who was gifted a job by his grifting brother making an effort with a small local radio show. Zero chance he would have achieved anything without Joe making the effort and Opie being the right guy to hook up with. Millions of talented people amount to nothing. He would have been “Funny Anthony” who all the fellas knew in the bar and job site.
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AJ Benza worked directly for Harvey Weinstein. He would keep tabs on negative press stories and pay people off in secret. He turned that into gigs in movies and doing poker commentary (which he still does). Benza knows some of the biggest secrets in Hollywood. Guy is majorly connected despite being anonymous.