Witty Banter - just like from the movies

[AntSucks]

Later, in Eugene’s Jaguar, Harris struggled with his uniform’s white belt.

“That looks a little snug,” Eugene said.

“It shrank. Must have gotten wet.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with you spending the last year working with sedentary academics.” Eugene could have sworn he saw a bit of blush forming on Harris’s dark cheeks.

“Why don’t you ask Felix to partner up on a workout routine? It would do you some good, and it could really help his confidence.”

“You think so?”

“Hard as it may be to believe, many years ago I was a scrawny, socially awkward youth myself. It’s not an easy mind-set to break free of.”

“Well, at least you seem to be cured of the former,” Harris prodded from behind a toothy grin.

“Ouch. The wound is deep,” replied Eugene with good humor.

“Can I ask you something, sir?”

“I believe you just did, but you can ask me something else as well.”

“Why me?” Harris seemed confused, but not pleading.

“Why you, for what?”

“This meeting. What questions can I answer that Felix or Jeffery can’t? They’re much more qualified to discuss the details of what we do

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

I couldn't make it through this shit. This is pat talking to himself and it's so god damn cringe I had to punch out right at the exercise advice

 

[Easily_Remembered]

"Can I ask you something, sir?"

"Yyyyyyeeeeesssss, child".

 

[guest]

I couldn't make it through this shit. This is pat talking to himself and it's so god damn cringe I had to punch out right at the exercise advice

This is the biggest problem with his writing. Every character speaks like Patrick.

 

[soulbrotherman#1]

"Can I ask you something, sir?"

"Yyyyyyeeeeesssss, child".

Can i ask you something sir.

I believe you just did, child

Well can I ask you something else

I belieeeeevee you just did child

Can I ask you something else

I belieeeeeeeeveeeeeeee you just diiiiiiiiiid child

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

Nice literal drivel, stupid.

 

[Clint Ruin]

This is the biggest problem with his writing. Every character speaks like Patrick.

And Patrick doesn't speak like a real person, so none of his characters do either.

 

[Cuphead]

Well this isn't very good

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

YOU DON'T GET TO SPEAK, CHILD

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

Harris prodded from behind a toothy grin.

replied Eugene with good humor.

We may need to start considering the possibility that Annabelle ran away while in the womb.

 

[Meownaw]

He is such a dogshit writer and I'm half a tard myself.

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Can i ask you something sir.

I believe you just did, child

Well can I ask you something else

I belieeeeevee you just did child

Can I ask you something else

I belieeeeeeeeveeeeeeee you just diiiiiiiiiid child

"Can I ask you something, sir?"

"Nuh-nuh-nuh-no, you don't get to ask me questions because this is not a conversation, child".

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

The biggest problem with his writing is every character delivers stilted speech with wooden and laconic context. If I didn’t know better I’d say this writer dropped out of a JuCo in less than a semester.

 

[Snake]

This is the biggest problem with his writing. Every character speaks like Patrick.

Astute observation.

Eugene could have sworn he saw a bit of blush forming on Harris’s dark cheeks.

No0o0o0o0o little baby child, niggers don't blush.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Jesus Christ he thought he was scrawny back when he was already fat. Like during the Lappening. The dysmorphia is insane

 

[CanISitOnJonsLap]

“Uh-huh. I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with you spending the last year working with sedentary academics.” Eugene could have sworn he saw a bit of blush forming on Harris’s dark cheeks.

This is a common theme in Patrick's novels, adults always get shy and blush and act nervous like a 6th grader asking a girl to the dance. The rest of the adult world is tindering and admitting mutual attraction by swiping right. But in Patrick's worldview, everyone is still stuck saying I don't have a crush on him! Stop! Did... did he say he has a crush on me?

God, I would have loved to see the courtship of Niki. "I... I got you this book. It doesn't mean I like you or anything but, y'know, I got it autographed as well. I had to stand on a really long line to get it signed."

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Every character sounds the same because every character is him. A writer who can’t write characters is not a writer.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

This is a common theme in Patrick's novels, adults always get shy and blush and act nervous like a 6th grader asking a girl to the dance. The rest of the adult world is tindering and admitting mutual attraction by swiping right. But in Patrick's worldview, everyone is still stuck saying I don't have a crush on him! Stop! Did... did he say he has a crush on me?

God, I would have loved to see the courtship of Niki. "I... I got you this book. It doesn't mean I like you or anything but, y'know, I got it autographed as well. I had to stand on a really long line to get it signed."

It shows that mentally he’s never left high school, he’s forever that dorky 14 year old awkward loser. It even extends to how he dresses and behaves around adults. He tries so hard for everyone to think he’s the popular HS Star quarterback and prom king while being a forever dork.

 

[FurBurger]

This is pat talking to himself

It's always Pat's imaginary self-image talking to actual Pat, and it sucks.

It's like that line from his current magnum porkus:

There was a bright dividing line between the lived experiences of veterans like her and the civvies they volunteered to pull back from the darkness...

Same shit, different cover.