Why put a bottle of lotion on your coffee table except to jack off with?

[Stetten's Long Thumbers]

Everyone keeps the lotion in the bathroom, but we know Patty lays on that couch under pink blankie all day long.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

He puts it on his stretch marks

 

[based and white pilled]

When you're an old testament sex god, intercourse could occur at any time and any place, child.

You are mentally ill, stlaker.

.....

-Damian

 

[NortheastPhilly]

You know that nigga aint usin it to moisturize. Haha...sheeeeit

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Everyone keeps the lotion in the bathroom, but we know Patty lays on that couch under pink blankie all day long.

When I was in high school one creepy teacher used to have lotion and paper towels next to his computer in his classroom. He was later fired for “inappropriate behavior”

 

[DanFielding]

It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again, child.

 

[Mike Glyer]

Am I the only man who has never jerked off with lotion? Is it too late to start?

 

[Ladynyahh]

the brothas come over when Patrick is away and they use it because they all ashy and shit

 

[captain_kamala]

Am I the only man who has never jerked off with lotion? Is it too late to start?

are you circumcised?

 

[Mike Glyer]

are you circumcised?

Yes, ma'am.

 

[captain_kamala]

Yes, ma'am.

interesting. i always thought guys who are use it and guys who aren't don't need it. clearly i have a lot to learn.

 

[guest]

are you circumcised?

Let me guess, you're one of those gals who spits on her hand, right?

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

Further evidence he sleeps on the couch and also that he doesn’t have sex with Niki. I keep a bottle of KY next to the bed because I’m a sex haver and I make a point to remind everyone of that constantly whether they want to hear it or not

 

[Meownaw]

I bet it's Nikkis and she has disgusting dry skin from all the melanin infused farts.

 

[captain_kamala]

Let me guess, you're one of those gals who spits on her hand, right?

i spit directly on the dick.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

i spit directly on the dick.

That's what's up.

 

[Mike Glyer]

interesting. i always thought guys who are use it and guys who aren't don't need it. clearly i have a lot to learn.

When I was going through the most insane parts of puberty I'd beat off like 6 times in a day and have damage. It seems so unnecessary in retrospect...

So maybe you're right and I've just been powering through.

 

[Udders]

Jerking off with lotion? Soft faggots.

 

[guest]

Lube for his asshole. Shoves catfood up his ass and lets mewler explore.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

interesting. i always thought guys who are use it and guys who aren't don't need it. clearly i have a lot to learn.

I have "a partial circumsion," meaning the doc left most of it. The only difference is that I have more sensitivity at and around the head, but it doesn't affect my ability to jerk off with or without lube. It's not like they flay your dick.