When I was a sophomore in high school, I did a talent show with my band

[guest]

We were an emo band. The song we played was the most pathetic, sad, corny, gay, white suburban rich kid drivel. I was the lead singer. I sucked ass. I sang in this gay affectation trying to sound like Jordan Pundik of New Found Glory. I didn't write the song though at least. But wow. There was at least 1,000 people watching, and I'm 100% sure they all thought I was a faggot.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I love you but I honestly would have beat you up for no reason. I literally used to wear a shirt that said "emo sucks" on it. I was a caricature of a metalhead. I don't even hate emo at all. Rx Bandits fucking rule. I was a faggot.

 

[guest]

I love you but I honestly would have beat you up for no reason. I literally used to wear a shirt that said "emo sucks" on it. I was a caricature of a metalhead. I don't even hate emo at all. Rx Bandits fucking rule. I was a faggot.

I could've used your fist in my mouth. I didn't dress emo, the band was though. I was a bit of a depressed faggot for sure though. RX Bandits are awesome. I still listen to those homos sometimes tbh.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

 

[aRTie02150]

I did a standup bit in 10th grade during our talent show. I made a masturbation joke that fucking murdered the crowd, I even seen teachers laughing, and the moment I got backstage I was in trouble.

I was never allowed to do any talent shows again, not even the lipsync. Pretty funny.

 

[analeggsalad]

what was pinker, your hair dye or your boipucci

i remember in middle school they were talking about those talent shows, I wanted to do a "magic" show where you cut the guy in half and turn the boxes around. I was gonna use a real saw/wood and have bags of fake blood in the box explode half way through cutting. I got as far as asking a neighbor if he would be the volunteer

 

[guest]

Though you swear that you are true I'd still pick MY FRIENDS OVER YOU!!!!

 

[Brooke Shields]

I did a standup bit in 10th grade during our talent show. I made a masturbation joke that fucking murdered the crowd, I even seen teachers laughing, and the moment I got backstage I was in trouble.

I was never allowed to do any talent shows again, not even the lipsync. Pretty funny.

what was the joke?

 

[aRTie02150]

what was the joke?

Something along the lines of wanting to go to UMass because I wanted to be on the UMass Debate Team and I did a jerking motion.

Since I grew up in the Boston area everyone with stupid accent would hear it as "You Masturbate Team" etc.

I remember doing the whole routine days prior for the approval to even participate in the show, but leaving that joke out on purpose, and leaving it as a closer because I knew it would have not been allowed.

I still think it's a pretty funny joke, especially coming from a then 15 year old. I still remember my world history teacher the next day telling me it was funny and to not be upset about getting in trouble. Mr. Cole was a real ass dude.

 

[Ant_It_Fun]

Something along the lines of wanting to go to UMass because I wanted to be on the UMass Debate Team and I did a jerking motion.

Since I grew up in the Boston area everyone with stupid accent would hear it as "You Masturbate Team" etc.

I remember doing the whole routine days prior for the approval to even participate in the show, but leaving that joke out on purpose, and leaving it as a closer because I knew it would have not been allowed.

I still think it's a pretty funny joke, especially coming from a then 15 year old. I still remember my world history teacher the next day telling me it was funny and to not be upset about getting in trouble. Mr. Cole was a real ass dude.

Pretty ballsy for a 15-year-old, and a pretty good joke. Think you could have been a career comic had you stuck with it?

 

[aRTie02150]

Pretty ballsy for a 15-year-old, and a pretty good joke. Think you could have been a career comic had you stuck with it?

Absolutely not, but I did a few open mics up until about 2014 when I moved across the country. I never felt comfortable at all.

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Absolutely not, but I did a few open mics up until about 2014 when I moved across the country. I never felt comfortable at all.

Ah, so you're a civilian who's not properly equipped for the intricacies of the craft.

 

[aRTie02150]

Ah, so you're a civilian who's not properly equipped for the intricacies of the craft.

Pretty much. Plus I didn't enjoy being paid in vouchers for food or beer.

 

[guest]

I played the clarinet on stage in some 2nd grade musical that i still remember...

 

[guest]

We were an emo band. The song we played was the most pathetic, sad, corny, gay, white suburban rich kid drivel. I was the lead singer. I sucked ass. I sang in this gay affectation trying to sound like Jordan Pundik of New Found Glory. I didn't write the song though at least. But wow. There was at least 1,000 people watching, and I'm 100% sure they all thought I was a faggot.

I think you’re tops.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

Heal meee!

Im heartsiiiick!

 

[guest]

Heal meee!

Im heartsiiiick!

 

[alkiefuck2]

We were an emo band. The song we played was the most pathetic, sad, corny, gay, white suburban rich kid drivel. I was the lead singer. I sucked ass. I sang in this gay affectation trying to sound like Jordan Pundik of New Found Glory. I didn't write the song though at least. But wow. There was at least 1,000 people watching, and I'm 100% sure they all thought I was a faggot.

i played lead guitar covering Wake Me Up When September Ends for our talent show, dropped my pick straight away which was funny, wasn't a dry pussy in the crowd though, genuinely

 

[fusciasomething]

Its all downhill from here

 

[guest]

In 4th grade the movie Men in Black was popular. Me and my friend did a parody song at our talent show where we were in potato sacks and jumping around to the lyrics "We are the men in sacks...".

Possibly the cringiest thing Ive ever done, but it's a long fawkin list...