What’s the most ridiculous reason you or someone you know got broken up with over?

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Guy I work with told me his uncle’s wife left him because he fished way too much and the same thing just happened to the uncle’s son. I usually get broken up with over substance abuse issues but that’s not very interesting or my fault.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Guy I work with told me his uncle’s wife left him because he fished way too much and the same thing just happened to the uncle’s son. I usually get broken up with over substance abuse issues but that’s not very interesting or my fault.

Good for them, I bet they’re out fishing as I write this.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

I usually get broken up with over substance abuse issues but that’s not very interesting or my fault.

let me guess, the jews made you a drug addict?

 

[CumiaPoodle]

My aunt was fucking a giant fat biker. Moved him into my uncles home. Then moved into an apartment inside the house while my uncle slept on a lazy boy. Eventually my uncle asked the biker to pay rent and the biker broke up with my whore aunt. My uncle never divorced my aunt though

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

My aunt was fucking a giant fat biker. Moved him into my uncles home. Then moved into an apartment inside the house while my uncle slept on a lazy boy. Eventually my uncle asked the biker to pay rent and the biker broke up with my whore aunt. My uncle never divorced my aunt though

What the fuck? Any more stories about them?

 

[CumiaPoodle]

What the fuck? Any more stories about them?

One night after the break up of my whore aunt and her lover I was staying the night with my cousin. At my uncles house. His wife would leave for weeks at a time. He began smoking crack and riding a motorcycle. Me cousin and I were under the impression we were home alone. When we heard the sloshing of waves.

Outside in the backyard they had one of those shitty plastic pools. We had to be 9 and 11 at the time. We went in the back expecting to find some kind of killer or monster.

My uncle had his head thrown back over side of the pool while this very very large fat woman was riding him. She saw us and rode away naked on a mountain bike.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

One night after the break up of my whore aunt and her lover I was staying the night with my cousin. At my uncles house. His wife would leave for weeks at a time. He began smoking crack and riding a motorcycle. Me cousin and I were under the impression we were home alone. When we heard the sloshing of waves.

Outside in the backyard they had one of those shitty plastic pools. We had to be 9 and 11 at the time. We went in the back expecting to find some kind of killer or monster.

My uncle had his head thrown back over side of the pool while this very very large fat woman was riding him. She saw us and rode away naked on a mountain bike.

Not going to lie I looked quick at the thumbnail on the first one, thought it was Bam, and said “sounds about right.” Take that for what it’s worth. Hilarious story. I guess it’s a bit better if they were both cheating on each other.

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Not going to lie I looked quick at the thumbnail on the first one, thought it was Bam, and said “sounds about right.” Take that for what it’s worth. Hilarious story. I guess it’s a bit better if they were both cheating on each other.

Dude when I was very young my aunt would tell me stories like this one. “Your uncle is fucked in the head cumiapoodle, last week we met some chink at the bar. He was handsome so I thought what the fuck right? I thought I would have to sneak around but your uncle said he wanted to watch. So he hid in the closet while I fucked the Chinese guy”

I swear to god I couldn’t have been older than 12 when she told me that dude.

 

[Carl Winslow]

I know a couple that ended their engagement because the dude had another chic in his "top 8" on MySpace.

This was like 15, if not longer maybe years ago. I don't remember the details beyond that.

Edit: from what I remember, he was going to, but forgot about it.

 

[guest]

A girl i know dated a writer, he wrote down some phone messages for her. She was annoyed that he didn’t use an exclamation point to announce her friend having a baby to capture the right tone of the message. That's the reason she broke up with him.

 

[JebJoh]

When I was in NYC they ran out of 212 numbers, my ex ended up with a 646 number so I never called her again

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Dude when I was very young my aunt would tell me stories like this one. “Your uncle is fucked in the head cumiapoodle, last week we met some chink at the bar. He was handsome so I thought what the fuck right? I thought I would have to sneak around but your uncle said he wanted to watch. So he hid in the closet while I fucked the Chinese guy”

I swear to god I couldn’t have been older than 12 when she told me that dude.

Were your parents normal? How did your cousin turn out?

 

[guest]

I knew a guy whose pregnant wife broke up with him because he didn't have a job and his dick didn't work. That guy's name was Pat.

 

[fenrir]

I knew a guy whose pregnant wife broke up with him because he didn't have a job and his dick didn't work. That guy's name was Pat.

Sounds like one of those real life tough guys who would spoon-feed you your own teeth. Probably not fat either.

 

[JebJoh]

Sounds like one of those real life tough guys who would spoon-feed you your own teeth. Probably not fat either.

He's definitely fat, dangerously obese really. His dick MIGHT have worked if he could get it out from under his belly. But what do I know?

 

[fenrir]

He's definitely fat, dangerously obese really. His dick MIGHT have worked if he could get it out from under his belly. But what do I know?

Oh Literal JebJoh!

 

[JebJoh]

Oh Literal JebJoh!

You got me again

 

[JebJoh]

Good for them, I bet they’re out fishing as I write this.

And I bet he's out substance abusing and having just as much fun

 

[Phish]

I lost a great girl due to substance abuse a long time ago. The final straw was a random work day id had off so i decided to have fun. Fuck it. I wasnt living with the bitch at the time so i figured i was good to go. I started with shooting some benzos and heroin mixed together to start the day, then busted out the IV Ketamine. She walked into my house while i was mid k-holed, whacked out on xanax and dope. I was literally drooling trying to explain myself to her. Felt like sucha fucking loser. She made the right choice to block me that day and send one farewell message telling me to go to rehab.

 

[JebJoh]

I lost a great girl due to substance abuse a long time ago. The final straw was a random work day id had off so i decided to have fun. Fuck it. I wasnt living with the bitch at the time so i figured i was good to go. I started with shooting some benzos and heroin mixed together to start the day, then busted out the IV Ketamine. She walked into my house while i was mid k-holed, whacked out on xanax and dope. I was literally drooling trying to explain myself to her. Felt like sucha fucking loser. She made the right choice to block me that day and send one farewell message telling me to go to rehab.

She was a keeper, but not an enabler. btw, that drug cocktail scared the shit out of me.