Updated List of Demands

[Stetten's Long Thumbers]

One of Patrick's old quips was how "This ends when he says it does". Technically true. What he had to do was say the following:

1. Norm Macdonald is hilarious and I was merely virtue signaling for social media likes. I'm sorry for being such a faggot.
2. I'm fat.

One failed lawsuit and Apostlegate article later, the terms and conditions of his surrender have changed. In addition to aforementioned items, he must also do the following:

3. Pay Quasi.
4. Admit he is in a loveless relationship and that he sleeps on the couch.
5. Admit that he vandalized his own property, that he is behind the email "YouWillNeverFindMe1488", and that he lurks this forum constantly and uses accounts to harass and defame himself for the purpose of furthering the lawsuit.
6. Admit that he took fraudulent PPP loans that he never intends to pay back.
7. Admit that he never uses the gym or treadmill that he paid for with aforementioned fraudulent loans.
8. Admit that he cheated in the Brewers Mini Marathon, exactly as Carol pointed out. And also that he is in love with Carol and stalks his instagram account daily.
9. Admit that Brianna Wu is a man, formerly named John Walker Flynt, son of Larry Flynt.
10. Admit that we're fucking hilarious and formally apologize to each and every one of us.

Wat r summa dem otha demands we got?

 

[guest]

One of Patrick's old quips was how "This ends when he says it does". Technically true. What he had to do was say the following:

1. Norm Macdonald is hilarious and I was merely virtue signaling for social media likes. I'm sorry for being such a faggot.
2. I'm fat.

One failed lawsuit and Apostlegate article later, the terms and conditions of his surrender have changed. In addition to aforementioned items, he must also do the following:

3. Pay Quasi.
4. Admit he is in a loveless relationship and that he sleeps on the couch.
5. Admit that he vandalized his own property, that he is behind the email "YouWillNeverFindMe1488", and that he lurks this forum constantly and uses accounts to harass and defame himself for the purpose of furthering the lawsuit.
6. Admit that he took fraudulent PPP loans that he never intends to pay back.
7. Admit that he never uses the gym or treadmill that he paid for with aforementioned fraudulent loans.
8. Admit that he cheated in the Brewers Mini Marathon, exactly as Carol pointed out. And also that he is in love with Carol and stalks his instagram account daily.
9. Admit that Brianna Wu is a man, formerly named John Walker Flynt, son of Larry Flynt.
10. Admit that we're fucking hilarious and formally apologize to each and every one of us.

Wat r summa dem otha demands we got?

I’d settle for #10 by itself. It’s just so self evidently true it could cure his myopic retardation.

 

[RobertMewler]

I got one for Pat:

 

[guest]

#11 Scale selfie.

 

[42069]

To me him saying Norm is funny is him surrendering. If he does that and treats people kindly online I’d be square with him

 

[guest]

I got one for Pat:

[MEDIA=vocaroo]1nE1X85LYLqM[/MEDIA]

[MEDIA=vimeo]658414823[/MEDIA]

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Also admit that he's unfortunate looking at best.

 

[Jim-sucks-shit]

Admit that Dan's kung-fu is the best.

 

[potatopeeler63]

admit that he does drink everyday starting around noon-2pm, even though it's bad for his already poor health and will lead to an early death in 5-10 years.

 

[guest]

Admit that Dan's kung-fu is the best.

Thank you.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Release my sweet Nikki from your unholy bonds of loveless matrimony.

 

[BillKlacks]

Admit he's no taller than 5'10"

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

admit that he does drink everyday starting around noon-2pm, even though it's bad for his already poor health and will lead to an early death in 5-10 years.

He's like if Norm Peterson was a complete unlikeable shitbag

 

[guest]

I got one for Pat:

[MEDIA=vocaroo]1nE1X85LYLqM[/MEDIA]

Suicide demand. That's a felony right there.

 

[HotDogJoe]

Legally change his name to Slobtrick S Sloblinson or Bitchtrick S Bitchlinson. Either will be fine.

 

[guest]

Admit Adrienne is the better wife.

 

[guest]

• lose 60 lbs
• reconcile with estranged daughter
• cut time spent on social media by 95%.

 

[analeggsalad]

and that he lurks this forum constantly and uses accounts to harass and defame himself for the purpose of furthering the lawsuit

where we at with any bad/legally actionable thing ever posted is by Pat on a vpn and sock puppet?

Slobtrick S Sloblinson

up there with Pig Gay Oinkerson

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

He must promise to continue staying away from fun runs, all athletic competitions, and gyms of any kind. Those of us who stay fit don’t wanna see or smell some creepy, ugly fat blob like him while we better ourselves.

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

up there with Pig Gay Oinkerson

His trademark is his daughterless gloves