Torque is still at 8 followers

[Jenna]

Dude just announce on stealthygeek that you're starting a car blog and ask them to subscribe! The fucking arrogance of this pig thinking he can build Torque from the ground up. He's such a talented tweeter that the 40k followers will eventually show up, it might just take a couple months.

Wassamatter piggy, are you feeling a tinge of shame having to make that announcement? Hey followers! I have an alterego named Torque Wheeler that's mostly pictures of BMWs I see around town! I'm pretending to be a Latino auto mechanic with 14,000+ clients so I can say insightful things like modern cars are built better than classic cars!

Or you can drop all that phony shit and just say automotive enthusiast Patrick Tomlinson is writing about cars and might try to do this professionally. The only ones who know about Torque are Niki and every internet troll. Think about it, you can just call us liars and say we made the whole Torque thing up.

 

[HotDogJoe]

The fucking arrogance of this pig thinking he can build Torque from the ground up. He's such a talented tweeter that the 40k followers will eventually show up, it might just take a couple months.

Car maintenance advice tips is such a boring fucking idea for a Twitter account. People who use that shithole site are mostly hysterical types who are looking to get riled up about politics etc. or they're trolls who enjoy fucking with people. Nobody is going there for maintenance tips from some no name, unrecognizable brand.

The hilarious thing is, he was likely already incredibly half-hearted about the whole idea hence why everything was going at a snail's pace but then we discovered it and now he's forced to double down and pursue it lest he let the idiots win.

Dance for us, piggy. Dance!

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Has anyone told Torque to tell his zero followers yet?

 

[JoeCumiaDotCom]

Wow you'd think the last pure car guy could get more followers than that.

 

[SFWA liaison]

that's 2 more followers than Susan has cylinders

 

[TheNanaDook]

He blocked me when I followed, so even more confirmation that it's him.

 

[Brooke Shields]

Wow you'd think the last pure car guy could get more followers than that.

guess there's not many last pure car followers left

 

[Udders]

I'm not even sure cars today are built better. I bet 10/10 times that that 1950 Chrysler Town & Country would crunch up Pats gay Mustang or any small-dicked Italian sports car. Hell, one of those giant old Pontiac Bonnevilles probably could too.

 

[Sputnik]

I just cant believe hes this retarded to a automotive twitter account is gonna be his claim to fame. You know Torque Wheeler is a space trucker from the Niggertron galaxy in one of his shit books.

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

The chowderheads on CarTalk do this for free on NPR already.

 

[LongIslandchomper]

According to Pat, twitter purging bots is actually a good thing so I reported all eight as spam. You're welcome, Pat.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Pat is a professional Twitterer. He knows how to build a massive following. He's done it once and it wasn't purely down to dumb luck that stupid people latched onto one tired premise he stole from someone else. He can easily do it again with photos of cars parked outside the bar he goes to every single day.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

Are there any auto maintenance-related thought experiments that can make Torque go viral?

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

I'm not even sure cars today are built better. I bet 10/10 times that that 1950 Chrysler Town & Country would crunch up Pats gay Mustang or any small-dicked Italian sports car. Hell, one of those giant old Pontiac Bonnevilles probably could too.

Years back i worked with some guy that was with fire/rescue that also was in charge of the demolition derby when the county fair happened, they had a list of car that were not allowed because they never would lose one of them was 61 Chrysler Imperial, the list was from the 70's when they were all big bitches entered

 

[ThePepsiColaRapist]

More like, Dorque