Things that all successful writers do

[HotDogJoe]

• Refer to their readers as 'customers'
• Tweet every time they get a royalty check
• Attend cons where 0 people want them to sign a book
• Let people know how much they can bench

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

• Refer to their readers as 'customers'
• Tweet every time they get a royalty check
• Attend cons where 0 people want them to sign a book
• Let people know how much they can bench

Threaten people with prison isn’t on here?

 

[potatopeeler63]

-tweet their editors saying their following demands a sequel
-having their editors defend them from cyber terrorists
~having a dyslexic editor

 

[guest]

Write screenplays on Microsoft Word and go through the tedious and time-consuming process of formatting everything themselves instead of spending a couple of hundred bucks on Final Draft.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Write screenplays on Microsoft Word and go through the tedious and time-consuming process of formatting everything themselves instead of spending a couple of hundred bucks on Final Draft.

No, child. That is called “work”, any professional author will tell you, son, that they shun these types of software. Hush, now.

 

[guest]

No, child. That is called “work”, any professional author will tell you, son, that they shun these types of software. Hush, now.

Damn, sorry Pat, you're right. I just checked with Aaron Sorkin and he says he spends 80% of his workday hitting the space bar to make sure he has 1 inch margins on both sides of the page.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

Reply. To. Every. Single. Social. Media. Interaction.

 

[CuntFucker]

• Refer to their readers as 'customers'
• Tweet every time they get a royalty check
• Let people know how much they can bench

haha, Patrick rocks every day while you take screenshots of his twitter all day and jerk off, I bet you have 1000's of posts here too

 

[BudDickman]

I tweeted at Pat pretending to be a fan and asking when the sequel was coming for one of his books. I was hoping he would reply and tag Tor books begging for another contract, but he didn't acknowledge. I bet he was itching to hit the block button, but he knew that that would confirm that he has no fans, so he just ignored me. Eventually he did block me when I expressed concern for his cyberstalker situation and asked if he had surveillance video of the vandal.

So yeah, it's perfectly normal for a successful author to be suspicious and hostile towards anyone who claims to be his fan. He knows that fat pedo Dominic Franchetti is the only real fan that he has, and everyone else is either a member of his little circle jerk club who doesn't even read his books before giving a positive review, or a cyberstalker.

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

-tweet their editors saying their following demands a sequel
-having their editors defend them from cyber terrorists
~having a dyslexic editor

View attachment 20753

"No, Chris - you're supposed to point at your temple from the bottom. See, this is why you need me."