Things Pat can’t do Part 62738484

[A House Nigger]

 

[Ace Orenstein]

God damnit this shit is the worst

 

[Gay Faggot.]

What number is “Use Google” on this list?

 

[Clint Ruin]

Sign away his parental rights, because he already has none

 

[Harry Powell]

Like 90% of people can’t do that.

for this bit to be funny it would be someone bending over to tie their shoes or some shit

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

Patrick... evidence of box jumping comment?

 

[Naked_Militiaman]

How about answer the phone like a regular person?

"Hello, this is Patrick. How can I help you? I see you're a Platinum member..."

"Oh hi, you caught me at the bar. Sorry about the noise.”
(*crickets*)
“Let me just get outside where we can talk comfortably. There…we…go."

"Hello, Mr. Huffington?"

 

[guest]

Like 90% of people can’t do that

perhaps more than that

 

[Say “Cookie”]

Patrick can’t see his dick or his daughter. He sucks at life, child.

 

[Easily_Remembered]

How about answer the phone like a regular person?

"Hello, this is Patrick. How can I help you? I see you're a Platinum member..."

"Oh hi, you caught me at the bar. Sorry about the noise.”
(*crickets*)
“Let me just get outside where we can talk comfortably. There…we…go."

"Hello, Mr. Huffington?"

*riiiiiiiiiing*
*riiiiiiiiiing*

"HI fans, this is Patrick S Tomlinson. Most of you know me as a political firebrand on Twitter; but even fewer know me as a science fiction author. How may I be of assistance to you today?"

 

[A House Nigger]

Like 90% of people can’t do that.

for this bit to be funny it would be someone bending over to tie their shoes or some shit

I was going for Pat being able to run, climbing a ladder, Performing some kind of physical activity, but I do get your point

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

*riiiiiiiiiing*
*riiiiiiiiiing*

"HI fans, this is Patrick S Tomlinson. Most of you know me as a political firebrand on Twitter; but even fewer know me as a science fiction author. How may I be of assistance to you today?"

 

[Phish]

he cant wiggle this part of his face without fat flying and all over the place like jello. Hideous cretin.

 

[Pringle Can Lothario]

Hello fanths, thith ith Patrith ETH Thomlinthon. Many of you know me ath a polithal firebranth, but wouth you lithe to thuperthith for an ethra dollar?

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

Patrick can’t see his dick or his daughter. He sucks at life, child.

Joke's on you, cyberterrorist. Patrick doesn't want to see his daughter, as he demonstrated on three separate occasions.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

I guess people stopped walking up milk crates