Things conservative men do

[guest]

1. Never work an honest job longer than six months
2. On the rare occasion you do have a job, steal from it
3. Leech off younger brother
4. Snort coke with mother
5. Sit online all day
6. Blatantly disobey traffic laws
7. Molest little sister
8. Laugh about dead nigger babies
9. Drink child spit
10. Dress like character from Sons of Anarchy
11. Steal your teenage daughter’s identity

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

12. Lie about military service

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Snort coke with mother

13. Prematurely announce on Facebook that said mother has passed away when in reality she just has dementia and probably wants to see her oldest kid one last time before she kicks the bucket

 

[guest]

13. Prematurely announce on Facebook that said mother has passed away when in reality she just has dementia and probably wants to see her oldest kid one last time before she kicks the bucket

Get over it, libtard. I mean all the woman did was raise him and deal with his assuredly retarded behavior his entire life.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

14. Assemble neighborhood children and pay them to spit in your mouth

 

[Anthony's Lime Rickey]

15. Buy Buy Buy From China

 

[Ants Hard Drive of Horror]

16. Bring up reddit

 

[Chive Turkey]

deal with his assuredly retarded behavior his entire life.

That reminded me of that story Ant told about his father pocketing the airplane money and sending his two teenage boys on a Greyhound bus back to NY. They got arrested by a cop who phoned their mother (after Joe managed to get rid of the drugs he was carrying through a sheer stroke of luck), and the thing that annoyed Ant was that he didn't immediately say what was going on, scaring Ro into thinking the worst. Like that wasn't the fucking point. Like the officer's implicit message wasn't: "Why the fuck are these two children travelling cross country alone? Do you have any idea what could've happened to them?"

Anthony didn't blame his deadbeat dad for being a scumbag, or Joe for nearly landing them in big shit, nor did he learn anything from the experience nor did Joe. No, he got mad at the police officer for doing his fucking duty and checking up on what looked to be two runaways. Zero self-awareness.

 

[guest]

17. Avoid any "difficult feelings" such as having to see your demented, dying old mother, because who wants to do that? No one! And real men never do anything difficult or unpleasant.

 

[alkiefuck2]

18. Teach a black kid guitar to show you're not racist

 

[Honeycomb Hideout]

19. Have to state on record in a courtroom that you are "not a pedofile"

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

I feel like that's about it. These 19 points make up Joe Cumia's entire existence.

@admin please lock the thread