Theory: Anthony's sense of humor is proportionate to his facial hair

[DMAN]

The most facial hair Anthony ever had as an adult was when he first started working under Opie. Anthony was sporting a beard when first plucked out of obscurity, but enough about his wife, his facial hair was long too. He also had a matching afro ponytail. At this hairy stage in his life, Anthony would do impressions and characters for hours on end, sometimes he would get "stuck" in the characters like a BPD psycho.

At WAAF in Boston, there were very sparse moments where Anthony would shave. At WNEW in NYC he began to shape his facial hair into a classic quirky "goatee" white guy style. He was still doing voices and characters with effort at this time.

At XM Satellite, Anthony held onto his little goatee for a while through the great Tony Danza era, until somewhere before he got his hair did by Glade Plug Ins. Around this time Anthony was sporting the obvious homosexual latino thin mustache. Like John Waters, Vincent Price, and Prince before him -- Anthony became a lazy old queen who would only shout out random bursts of a character, like a BPD psycho.

Eventually when Howard Stern's doggy company Sirius stomped XM into a hostile takeover merger, Anthony had grown his baby hairs long enough to decide his luscious plastic locks needn't any distractions competing for your eyes, so he shaved all facial hair off. And ever since that day, he has been a race-ranting... punchline-avoiding... no eye contact making... female disappointing... dancing-in-his-seat, confrontation-fearing, people-pleasing, cornball, Son of a gun

Wasting your time doing a HALF-A-SHOW. Every year that passes is another wasted Million. Pick up the phone, pockface. And quit shaving

 

[1950'sSpaceProgram]

Samson and his chin pubes of yumah.

 

[Ace Orenstein]

The most facial hair Anthony ever had as an adult was when he first started working under Opie. Anthony was sporting a beard when first plucked out of obscurity, but enough about his wife, his facial hair was long too. He also had a matching afro ponytail. At this hairy stage in his life, Anthony would do impressions and characters for hours on end, sometimes he would get "stuck" in the characters like a BPD psycho.

At WAAF in Boston, there were very sparse moments where Anthony would shave. At WNEW in NYC he began to shape his facial hair into a classic quirky "goatee" white guy style. He was still doing voices and characters with effort at this time.

At XM Satellite, Anthony held onto his little goatee for a while through the great Tony Danza era, until somewhere before he got his hair did by Glade Plug Ins. Around this time Anthony was sporting the obvious homosexual latino thin mustache. Like John Waters, Vincent Price, and Prince before him -- Anthony became a lazy old queen who would only shout out random bursts of a character, like a BPD psycho.

Eventually when Howard Stern's doggy company Sirius stomped XM into a hostile takeover merger, Anthony had grown his baby hairs long enough to decide his luscious plastic locks needn't any distractions competing for your eyes, so he shaved all facial hair off. And ever since that day, he has been a race-ranting... punchline-avoiding... no eye contact making... female disappointing... dancing-in-his-seat, confrontation-fearing, people-pleasing, cornball, Son of a gun

Wasting your time doing a HALF-A-SHOW. Every year that passes is another wasted Million. Pick up the phone, pockface. And quit shaving

“Let my write a couple of paragraphs stating my opinion that no one asked for”.

 

[CorradoSoprano4]

How about you proof this theory I have that requires a noose and a stool.

 

[EllenTorquehorn]

Samson and his chin pubes of yumah.

I bought Delilah some tits and this is how she repays me?

 

[DMAN]

How about your try this theory I have that requires a noose and a stool.

Does it also involve a toe trigger attachment you hack copycat killer?

 

[wbgreen]

In an alternative life where the tape never made it to Opie, Ant works as a tin knocker until a DUI or child porn charge sends him to prison. He converts to Islam and comes out with a full Muslim beard. And he actually has a good sense of humor. Has a lot of zingers about 'why did the camel cross the road' and 'how many wives does it take to screw in a lightbulb'.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

And now he's all translucent and hairless, like an albino cave salamander.

 

[UnPRePared]

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Anthony is still hilarious - although now the comedy is not intentional but instead circumstantial.

 

[Consensual Rapist]

 

[DMAN]

“Let my write a couple of paragraphs stating my opinion that no one asked for”.

Lol this stone cold bitch waits for people to ask his opinion instead of just spamming you with opinions like a bloviating chad. How do you like them apples my little namesake faggot? Get your own computer name.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

Whether consciously or otherwise, in the past Nana tried a lot harder to disguise his latent homosexuality than he does now. He used to embrace every "guy stuff" (or more accurately, what he perceived "heterosexual guy stuff" to be, as how would he know?) stereotype, with the beard, the guns, the cars, the gambling, his phony relationships with women, and of course, the pedophilia.

He still tries, but nowhere near as hard. He's abandoned most of his "guy stuff" for one reason or another, and now he's content with trying to be "straight" on Twitter, as it's easier. But the bulk of his posturing has faded, as every time I see him, he's sashaying, hooting, mincing, giggling, swishing and studiously avoid adult women whenever possible, like the elderly prancing bottom queen he really is.

Like that "fight" on his "show" the other day. He immediately cringed, reached for his security beer, then started lisping and screeching like a hysterical old flamer. The old bearded Nana might have raised his voice and made idle threats, but 2022 Nana just plain simpered.

 

[DMAN]

No No No. Kevin. No.