The piss and shit conundrum

[Single Action Army]

How do you refer to waste in semi-acquainted company?
"Piss and shit" is too vulgar
"Pee and poo" is too juvenile
"Urine and excrement" is too technical

We need some connotation-devoid synonyms for weewee and caca.

 

[Sue2]

Simple. “I gotta go to the bathroom”. If its casual theres no reason to specify. Piss and shit are words you use around friends or blue collar coworkers.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

"I go baffroom!"

 

[SensibleKeks]

They're all sources of pleasure though.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Urine and feces.
Or just call it "waste" (maybe that's not specific enough).

 

[The Shah of Iran]

If I can't call it shite and piss in front of you when i want to go for a shite or a piss then you might as well not exist to me. No exceptions.

 

[Toast]

I have to take a leak
I have to drop the kids off at the pool
I'm going to water the plants
I have to get something down on paper

Be creative, faggot.

 

[Turk February]

I have to take a leak
I have to drop the kids off at the pool
I'm going to water the plants
I have to get something down on paper

Be creative, faggot.

I say "I have to make ____" (water or dirt, depending on the occasion)

 

[Skippy]

Excuse me, I’ve got to fill my diaper.

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

I make urine
blow up the clown

 

[Professor Rape]

I say piss and shit. I look for the opportunity to, since it's funny.
There was an on cinema oscar special blooper where tim announced he was taking a shit, and I've said it like that since then lol:



around 1:55 if timestamp doesnt work.

 

[Total Tranny Death]

Just say "I need to use the restroom". They can make the distinction based on how long you're gone.

 

[Stent]

Piss: say "I'll be back in a minute" without specifying why you're going out of the room.

Shit: put a newspaper under your arm and announce "I'm going to be a while!" and laugh loudly as you leave the room.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Simple. “I gotta go to the bathroom”. If its casual theres no reason to specify. Piss and shit are words you use around friends or blue collar coworkers.

A while ago I saw someone on here make fun of a Canadian for saying "washroom" instead of "bathroom". Here's why the Canadian is right and that other guy was a retard who should kill himself: a bathroom has a bath tub in it. A washroom just has sinks. Where are you taking a bath in a public washroom? Fucking nowhere.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

I still use “have to see a man about a horse” for when I have to pee. One time at a restaurant I decided in the men’s room that I really had to shit, so I was gone longer than expected, as my companions knew the comment was about micturition. When I got back to the table, someone remarked that I had been gone long and that he had “thought I fell in.” I said “no, it was just a really big horse.” We all laughed uproariously.

 

[FranksWirecutters]

I take my dogs potty because that's what I trained them to respond to. It feels gay everytime I say it. Next time I'm training them with shit so my wife has to say it loudly in public.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I take my dogs potty because that's what I trained them to respond to. It feels gay everytime I say it. Next time I'm training them with shit so my wife has to say it loudly in public.

My parents always told the dogs to "piddle". Such a faggy word. I always say "do your thing". It's way too many syllables, but they seem to get it.

 

[Single Action Army]

My parents always told the dogs to "piddle". Such a faggy word. I always say "do your thing". It's way too many syllables, but they seem to get it.

I usually say "excuse me; I have to take Armydog to fire off a weiner squeezin'."

 

[FranksWirecutters]

My parents always told the dogs to "piddle". Such a faggy word. I always say "do your thing". It's way too many syllables, but they seem to get it.

Canadian thing. My first wife trained their dog with that.

 

[FrogmanKurlan]

If I’ve gotta take a piss outside I usually say I gotta go contribute to the water table.