Stuck Watching Standup Shorts on Netflix

[guest]

We're about eight deep and so far only Mike Epps has drawn a genuine chuckle out of me. The rest of it is so fucking cringe-inducing I'd like to throw my phone through the tv.

 

[Meownaw]

Why would you do that?

 

[guest]

Why would you do that?

We're spending the weekend with inlaws. Trust me when I say I'd never choose this. I never wanted this.

 

[guest]

We're spending the weekend with inlaws. Trust me when I say I'd never choose this. I never wanted this.

Why are all inlaws so fucking shit?

 

[guest]

Why are all inlaws so fucking shit?

Dude I sat here one night listening to six of them talk about movies and then they no-shit turned on a channel that was only MOVIE TRAILERS and spent at least half an hour watching it and discussing the movies and the respective cinematic universes they were embedded in.

I'm going to mix another drink immediately.

 

[Meownaw]

Dude I sat here one night listening to six of them talk about movies and then they no-shit turned on a channel that was only MOVIE TRAILERS and spent at least half an hour watching it and discussing the movies and the respective cinematic universes they were embedded in.

I'm going to mix another drink immediately.

That sounds horrendous.

 

[guest]

That sounds horrendous.

I thought I'd gone insane or to hell or something.

 

[guest]

This is really, really fucking bad. Joe Koy should be shot in the back of the head and left in a dumpster. Chelsea Handler is a vampire. Bill Burr is doing woke shit. Neal Brennan should have his lunch money stolen daily.

Fuck these faggots.

 

[guest]

Why do all these losers have to lean on sex so much? Why are my inlaws comfortable watching this with family in the room? I don't want to think about sex toys when my wife's 60-year-old aunt is in the room.

FUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK

 

[DMAN]

Consider popping in one of your copies of Demented World to a nearby CD player stereo and try to drown out the sound of the TV. This will establish you as patriarch of the family and introduce your family to the comedy stylings of Opie & Anthony.

 

[guest]

Consider popping in one of your copies of Demented World to a nearby CD player stereo and try to drown out the sound of the TV. This will establish you as patriarch of the family and introduce your family to the comedy stylings of Opie & Anthony.

It's late enough to slink away now. Aziz Ansari is currently bashing the much more successful Ice Cube about not wanting to take the kike spike. I wish somebody would drop a grader on his head.

 

[You Got A Problem Pal]

We're spending the weekend with inlaws. Trust me when I say I'd never choose this. I never wanted this.

You chose this when you decided to get married brothaman.

 

[lowend73]

If you want some chuckles, head over to r/standup

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

Nice inlaws, stupid.

 

[guest]

Nice inlaws, stupid.

They're nice people but complete NPC consumers. It's hard to find anything interesting to talk with them about but the alternative is watching whatever slop they find entertaining.

It's a tough one, man.

 

[lilconnorpeterson]

I don't want to think about sex toys when my wife's 60-year-old aunt is in the room.

Don't be a pussy, Terry.

You sit there and you think about that near senior citizen riding a gigantic vibrating dildo angrily...if you're into racial stuff like Nana you can imagine that it is black

 

[guest]

Don't be a pussy, Terry.

You sit there and you think about that near senior citizen riding a gigantic vibrating dildo angrily...if you're into racial stuff like Nana you can imagine that it is black

No, you can't make me. Years of being molested by Jews has trained me to clamp down on unpleasant thoughts within milliseconds.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Every time someone shows me stand up I really try to contain my autism, but I sit there and get genuinely angry thinking "you don't know fucking shit."

Bitches really love Nikki Glazer.

 

[gassers]

This showed up in my feed.

 

[guest]

Every time someone shows me stand up I really try to contain my autism, but I sit there and get genuinely angry thinking "you don't know fucking shit."

Bitches really love Nikki Glazer.

I was deeply offended by the whole thing. All of the women were true to type "muh vagina, muh period, I look like a dyke" SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I'm heatin up again.