Read The Time Machine Did it (2002)

[guest]

Every line is funny, just like his Simpsons episodes.

Side note, John Swartzwelder would write at a restaurant while smoking and drinking coffee. The difference from Pat is he's a recluse who still became successful without having to promote himself or his opinions.

Many writers are recluses (Thomas Pynchon, etc), and they seem to be the most respected. Swartzwelder is a conservative/republican who would probably be hated by every book faggot if he wrote his opinions on twitter, but because he doesn't he's known as one of the best writers ever.

 

[Coonskin]

When they closed down his favorite diner he purchased a booth and had it installed in his house. I've been meaning to check out some of his books

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Because, unlike Pat and the SFWA faggots, he's actually intelligent and an actual creative. Ergo, he's capable of creating stories, characters and worlds that don't revolve around his ideology and interests.

Writers today are like Pat - they got into writing not because of talent or a love of the craft, but because they are lazy and thought it would be an easy job. They don't understand that real writers treat writing like a real job - they'll spend 10-12 hours a day writing and re-writing drafts, imagining worlds and scenarios far removed from their own world and lives.

Losers like Pat spend most of their day on Twitter ( their real passion ) and hurriedly shit out a few pages to justify their "gig". And of course, even a remote alien galaxy in a far flung future still revolves around 80s earth culture and the good guys share the author's simplistic worldview, while the bad guys are thinly veiled versions of whatever modern day movement bothers the author.

No talent, no imagination, no work ethic, and no ability or desire to see a world removed from their own narcissism. That's why most of today's literature is utter dog shit.

 

[Stent]

Writers today are like Pat

They certainly hire a lot of useless, unqualified, dipshits with tits, so you're on the money.

 

[despacito69]

Because, unlike Pat and the SFWA faggots, he's actually intelligent and an actual creative. Ergo, he's capable of creating stories, characters and worlds that don't revolve around his ideology and interests.

Writers today are like Pat - they got into writing not because of talent or a love of the craft, but because they are lazy and thought it would be an easy job. They don't understand that real writers treat writing like a real job - they'll spend 10-12 hours a day writing and re-writing drafts, imagining worlds and scenarios far removed from their own world and lives.

Losers like Pat spend most of their day on Twitter ( their real passion ) and hurriedly shit out a few pages to justify their "gig". And of course, even a remote alien galaxy in a far flung future still revolves around 80s earth culture and the good guys share the author's simplistic worldview, while the bad guys are thinly veiled versions of whatever modern day movement bothers the author.

No talent, no imagination, no work ethic, and no ability or desire to see a world removed from their own narcissism. That's why most of today's literature is utter dog shit.

That describes literally every "craft" these days

 

[VoteJello]

Swartzwelder's books and A Confederacy of Dunces are the only books that have actually made me laugh out loud. The Time Machine Did It even opens hilariously. And I would say Ignatius Reilly reminds me of Pat but Ignatius had jobs, a college degree, and actually wrote everyday. Nice being lower than an abjectly-fictionalized proto-neckbeard, stupid.

 

[guest]

Swartzwelder's books and A Confederacy of Dunces are the only books that have actually made me laugh out loud. The Time Machine Did It even opens hilariously. And I would say Ignatius Reilly reminds me of Pat but Ignatius had jobs, a college degree, and actually wrote everyday. Nice being lower than an abjectly-fictionalized proto-neckbeard, stupid.

Hiring two bodyguards to beat the shit out of each other is a good bit.

 

[O-BLOCK NIGGA!]

Time Machine is a goddamn laugh-a-minute.

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

its hilarious

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Swartzwelder's books and A Confederacy of Dunces are the only books that have actually made me laugh out loud. The Time Machine Did It even opens hilariously. And I would say Ignatius Reilly reminds me of Pat but Ignatius had jobs, a college degree, and actually wrote everyday. Nice being lower than an abjectly-fictionalized proto-neckbeard, stupid.

You can bet Pat eats lots of weiner.

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

Is The Time Machine Did It the one where the main character keeps getting his ass kicked everywhere he goes? That's a good one. It's been a long time since I read it. Might have to read it again.

 

[AliceWorquer]

No talent, no imagination, no work ethic, and no ability or desire to see a world removed from their own narcissism. That's why most of today's literature is utter dog shit.

Patrick is the kind of writer who heard someone say all art is political, but he's a retard so he thinks it literally has to just be propaganda for his own ideology. The good guys have to agree with the author politically, and the bad guys have to disagree. He doesnt give a fuck about exploring the actual scope of human experience.

 

[DominusOdium]

Patrick is and always was an insurance salesman who imagined he was an author and a stand up comedian.