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pov: you're in charge of telling paul he's been let go

captain_kamala

Calling all simps
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112,044
03d65a765c98199ce93ca9eaf9df318a.png


the shirt says norton. is that the company he worked for?
 

Torque’sHeadBump

(Voluntarily) torqued boomer
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63,487
“We’ve been made aware of your social media presence, and your brother has also contacted us confirming that you’re a weak, pathetic creep. Apparently your own mother thought this? What was it…hmmm *flips through pages of printed emails* Aha! She referred to you as a “coward”…yes, that was it…

Anyway, Mr. Weimer, we really don’t think you’re cut out for this. We’re sorry, but we’re gonna have to let you go.”
 

TheRevAlJolson

Blackface Killah
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27,918
I would call Mr Weimer into my office. Upon entering, he would notice a black duffel bag next to my desk.

"Paul how long have you worked here?" I would say as I remove a large bottle of sleeping pills from the black bag next to me and place it on the desk

"Well.. it's been about -"

"You know what, It's not really important right now," I then produce a long section of rope, also placing it on the desk between us. "The thing is, change is inevitable in life." I reach back into the duffel bag, retrieving a plastic garment bag and an oversized zip tie. I place the items on the desk in front of him. "As you know, we've had issues with your online activities during work hours," From the bag comes a fresh flat razor. It is placed on the desk with a firm snap. "Unfortunately this issue has not corrected itself and I'm afraid we are going to have to part ways with you," A tourist map of the tallest publicly accessible structures in all of Wisconsin finds its way from the bag to the desk.

"You're... you're firing me?" stammers Paul as he eyes the contents of the desk

"Unfortunately you've left us little choice. This past month, IT has reported that you've visited Twitter.com..." I glance at a paper printout "...129 times during work hours. All of this AFTER already having been met with regarding this once before." My hand disappears into the duffel bag, extracting a ritual Japanese tantu blade which is laid on the desk before him.

"So what do I do now?" Paul proclaims, visibly agitated.

"Well, I'm going to have someone escort you back to your desk where you'll be given 10 minutes to gather your belongings, at which point you are to report to Stacy at the front desk to surrender your keycard and receive a garden hose and a roll of duct tape. I'm so sorry, Paul."
 
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FurBurger

What would you do for a Klondike bar?
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22,495
“You left your flash drive in the computer over the weekend...

It would look better if you resign”

Half-whispered:

"Listen, if I tell the cops about this, the FBI are gonna come in here, take all our computers, and we'll be shut down for weeks; and in this economy, the company is just not going to make it. You don't want all these nice people to lose their jobs, do you?

Just go."
 

IGotATreeOnMyHouse85

Stand Alone Fruit
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240,976
Senior Warranty Admin? Sounds like an entry level job that he never got promoted any further so they added “senior” to his title since he’s been there for a couple years. I have a feeling his work problem is related to year end. This quarter is when companies review their employees in relations to yearly raises, bonuses, etc. Paul’s had low production numbers due to being distracted crying all day on twitter. The company probably raised their standards and Paul isnt cutting it while being paid more than he should his poor work. They know they can hire someone new for less that can keep up with the work. Paul is a shit employee and an all around pain in the ass and now have a way to fire him by the books.
 
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