Patrick, you’re 42, whats goin on

[MunchausenByProxy]

Pat: Yes, child. I am being terrorized by a group of violent criminally obsessed cyberstlakers. Their publicly stated goal is to drive me to suicide.

....

Adam: Are you just reciting the back cover of some awful 90s indie movie?

Pat: No, child Im not.

Drew: I can already sense the disassociation

Adam: The child things freakin me out

Drew: Patrick do you ever have disassociative episodes? Like you wind up somewhere and dont know how you got there or what you’re doing?

Pat: Shhhhhhh, little baby child. Everything I say is always true and accurate.

Drew: What do you do for work?

Pat: Im a standup comedian and author

Drew: He’s just making things up, ok Pat do you ever feel like you have more than one personality?

Pat: You have been instructed to cease contacting this phone number, continuing to contact this phone number constitutes felony telephone harassment

Adam: HEY JACKASS! Im gonna give you ONE MORE CHANCE to answer the question or Im dumpin you!

Drew: Wait, he’s in the middle of some kind of psychotic break. Patrick, what was family life like growing up for you. Mom? Dad?

Pat: You have been instructed to cease *dial tone*

Adam: Why dont these GODDAMN POLITICIANS do something about this traffic?! Does anyone in this city know they can turn right on a red??? SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!!!!

Mahalo

 

[captain_kamala]

Well done

Then hit him with the you're fat

 

[NortheastPhilly]

WHY DO FAT FAGGOTS WITH BITCH TITS KEEP HAVING KIDS!!!??? USE BIRTH CONTROL!!!

Get it awwwn

*blasts Mighty Bosstones*

 

[Meownaw]

Would his smoke detector be beeping in the background?