Patrick adamantly pleads for members of ONA to be arrested

[Brooke Shields]

wait no he means that other bogeyman fox news/info wars

 

[SFWA liaison]

"incarcerate people I dislike durrrrrr", 87th never learns

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

He only says "please" when he isn't actually talking to anyone

 

[NikkisCrustyGusset]

Interred members of OnA Forum read about Fatrick S Tomlinson's arrest after he opens fire on bailiffs legally there to seize his possessions.

The group, commonly known as 'Rascals' were all swept up in a multi state and international sting operation Co ordinated by the CIA, FBI & Interpol.

Suspects were taken to a black site to be 'debriefed' as official sources say, supporters contend this is a polite way of saying 'waterboarded, interrogated, drugged, beaten and broken down'

Kept in camps and brutally starved, beaten, summarily executed for minor offences such as commenting on the SFWA, and, of course...viciously, relentlessly tortured.. The 'Rascals' say their only crime is calling Patrick Tomlinson a 'fat f*ggot with b*tch t*ts' were apprehended on charges of laughing at his 1.7 GPA report card, reminding him how much Adrienne cucked him and how ugly his second wife is...
Mr. Tomlinson and his group on Twitter, blue check mark mavericks with pronouns in their bios... Posit that the Rascals are a terrorist organisation deadlier than Al Queda, Hamas, Provisional IRA and Badar Meinhoff Group all combined.

However, the group, now ravaged with starvation, malnutrition and scurvy, driven mad by punishment beatings and torture, infested with lice and fleas, half mad from enduring countless hours of 'Repatrickisation'... They see a pinprick of light

A member of OnA breaks down as he recalls his experience of being forced to read Tomlinsons books.

Mr. Tomlinson opened fire on officers after a 17 hour stand off... Bailiffs were dispatched to the Tomlinson household to retrieve goods to the value of several tens of thousands of dollars to pay a debt owed to an individual known as Quasi.
Tomlinson appeared at the door, alcoholic beverage in hand, dishevelled and intoxicated, started arguing with agents.

As the situation escalated he was heard to howl repeatedly 'No, child you are wrong. No stlaker. No child. No you are wrong. You are wrong child. Tell your 0 followers stlaker. Quietly wait for the knock child'..

In fact as the Bradley vehicle breached the residence, Tomlonson, wrapped in a soiled pink blanket, brandishing a firearm was heard to shout
' I'm an actual tough guy CHIIIIIIIILLLLDDD'
More experienced junior officers, their first engagement out witted and maneuvered Tomlinson, a self described 'real life John Rambo but more. Intelligent, strategic and irresistible to the ladies'

He was starting a monologue, sources say he said 'I've forgotten more about your gun than you will ever know child' when several rounds from junior, inexperienced officers incapacitated Tomlinson.

Witnesses to the scene described it as this:

'he writhed round like a 3 legged hog on ice'

'his face was so bloated and purple I genuinely thought a stroke was going to take him down quicker than the guns'

'the big fat man was so mean and shouting, he kept telling grown ups they were children!'

'this is Fatrick Tomlinson. He's well known on the Internet as a fat f*ggot with wobbly b*tch t*ts. Pay Quasi yo! Chargin ma lazer!'

'the plump big man over there was screaming and roaring about children and people talking to him...or people talking.. talkers... He was so angry about talkers. He's a big lad, you'd think he would be more jolly!

*Damn yo, I know this dude...my homeboys and me, like my righteous dogs, know what I am saying... I am talking :Silk, Malik, Jo Jo, Peanut, DeShawn, Champagne and big swinging d*ck King Dong...Man we be hitting that dude's b*tch up since (shout) For EVER! She a regular 'queen of spades' know what I mean?
(* translated from ebonics by our secretary LaQueesha)

A typical Tweet by Tomlinson.

Mr Tomlinson was taken in an ambulance, still berating officers and making remarks about Elon Musk we can't print here. We are told that in ER he began arguing with a trauma surgeon over his treatment and emergency surgery. The arguments continued with the anesthesiologist as it appeared as though Rick Tomlinson thought he was more knowledgeable, skillful and competent at emergency trauma medical procedures and surgery than the doctors themselves.

Sources tell he that he was treated for severe dopamine, serotonin and neurotransmitter deficiency and Twitter withdrawal and had to be sedated because he couldn't tweet for over 24 hours.

As the Rascals are liberated and being taken to hospitals to be rehabilitated physically, mentally and spiritually, one can only wish them a speedy and full recovery and hope that the architects of such terror, using their blue ticks as a badge allowing them to do whatever they want... Will be pulled from their echo chambers and safe spaces and brought to justice.

As for Patrick 'Rick' Tomlinson... He has decided that he is simply not going to court. And apparently that's it. Rick has continously said 'no I don't' whenever the subject of him having to face court is brought up. When this reporter showed him legal filings and binding court documents demanding he pay Quasi he replied 'I don't owe a cent'... The well documented case where Rick abandoned his daughter entirely and signed away all parental rights forever... Again he just says 'you are wrong'...
Another reporter, who shall remain anonymous asked Tomlinson why, with photographic evidence, clothing size evidence, weight measurement evidence that he had put weight on in the last few years Tomlinson replied 'same weight as always. Havnt put on a pound'

Sgt Nikki S. Discharge is greeted by his family after being released. His wife is pregnant by a local African American gentleman.

And as the Rascals toss and turn in skin bruning disinfectant, aching bellies due to refeeding, minds reeling with the memories of cannibalism, prison homosexuality and the horrors of their interment... Mr Rick Tomlinson is told by a prison guard it is Friday and simply states 'no it's not stlaker' and in his large, round, red head... Surely it must be true.