- Forum Clout
- 78,142
A light drizzle falls upon the dim streets of Milwaukee. The windshield wiper is the loudest thing officer Johnson hears outside of his squad car. Inside, a radio show plays.
“Hahahahahahaha, that was spooky spookshow spectacular!”
“Boy, they sure didn’t want to buy those spooks, Todd!”
“No. They didn’t Scott.”
Officer Johnson looks over at his new partner, officer Mullen who had turned it on.
“You like this shit?” Officer Johnson asks.
“Yeah those phone calls are hilarious. Can’t believe people fall for those pranks!”
Officer Johnson switches the channel and lights a Kool cigarette. “Brick House” by The Commodores begins to play.
“Now this shit more like it.” Johnson says taking a drag from his cigarette.
“Mullen, right?”
“Yeah, that’s me. Just transferred from Boston.”
“How the fuck I get the only mick in a town of pollacks?” Johnson says grinning.
“Hey man. It’s 2022. We don’t say shit like that anymore. If I said that shit about you, I’d be suspended without pay.” Mullen is furious someone made fun of him.
“Well, that’s some tough shit potato nigger.” Johnson chuckles to himself as he looks out the window.
“You know, I only got a week left of this shit. Get to retire, go on vacation, come back, and die being nagged by my wife. The American dream.”
Dan is playing candy crush, barely listening to his partner.
“What the fuck you doing here from Boston? Ain’t shit do round here but get shot and drink yourself to death.” Johnson is watching the empty streets, trying to enjoy an easy night.
“Some shit went down. My wife lost her job. I was forced to transfer. I don’t want to talk about it. It still hurts a lot. Had to abandon my friends.” Mullen is almost in tears. He looks out his window to avoid being made fun of.
“Tough break. Hope you like it here. Freeze yo damn dick off. Then in the summer, yo lucky it don’t get shot off. Welcome to MKE.”
“We need the closest car available to respond to 2613 N Oakland Ave. We cannot discern the incident.” The police scanner blares.
Johnson looks over at Mullen.
“Well, guess that’s us mick.” Johnson grabs the radio. “We’re headed there now.” He then looks over at Mullen. “Buckle up, nigga.”
Johnson turns on the siren and speeds away. The brisk summer air seeping in from the slightly rolled down window. Johnson thinks about his retirement. He finally made it nigga. He finally got his.
As they pull up to the address, Johnson senses something eerie. The air feels different. The wind begins to pick up. As the rain falls heavier.
“Hold on a second, Mullen. Something here don’t seem right. Be on your guard. Something’s fucked up here.” Johnson begins getting out of the car, looking around the area.
“Yeah, what makes you say that? How did you contribute with that? Is that your bit? You try and scare the new guy? Seems pretty low effort.” Mullen responds in a snarky, trying not to sound pissed off tone.
“Just trust me on this Mullen. Something ain’t right.”
Johnson begins walking up the stairs to 2611. He realizes it’s the wrong address and that it’s a dilapidated duplex. He begins walking slowly up the creaking stairs of 2613. He places his hand near his firearm, preemptively. Dan repeats his action, not really getting why. Johnson knocks on the door.
A small autistic woman opens the door. She’s very unkempt, wearing a “They’re trying to kill us!” sweatshirt.
“Yes officers, is there a problem?” She says avoiding eye contact at all costs.
“Sorry to bother you ma’am but, we got a call to this residence. Dispatch couldn’t make out why, so they sent us here just in case. Is everything alright?” Johnson replies as he looks around the run down hovel.
“Uhh yeah. Everything’s fine. My friend and I must have been being too loud. I’m sorry.”
As the woman finishes her statement Johnson notices a large black man jumping out the window. “Heh. Keep on keeping on brother.” He thinks to himself.
“Well if I could just get your name, and some info, we’ll be on our way.”
“My name is Nikki Robinson.”
“Does anyone else live here with you, Nikki?”
“Yes, my husband.” Nikki responds staring at the ground.
“And where’s your husband at tonight?”
“He’s over at hooli-“ Just then, what can only be described as a man with pig-like features, wearing a bathrobe, naked, appears.
“He’s got a gun!” Mullen yells. Officer Johnson quickly reaches for his gun, but it’s too late. The Pigman had already open fired and hit Johnson.
“Officer downs, officer downs!” Screams Johnson. Mullen quickly runs at the being. He tries to take him down with the jiu-jujitsu his wife taught him, but fails. He runs out of the hovel and away from danger. Hiding behind his squad car.
“THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU SWAT ME!!!!! I HAVE CALLED YOU SO MANY TIMES!!!! AND YOU DO NOTHING!!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA!?!?!?!?” The Pigman screams. Nikki has run off into the quietest corner she can find. Not because she’s afraid, but because of all the loud noises.
“EVERY TIME ONE OF MY cyberstlaker’S CALLS SOMETHING IN…..YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO CALL…….ME!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS…….FOR FOUR…..FUCKING YEARS!!!!!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA!?!?!?!?” The Pigman is stuck between crying and screaming. He is clearly not mentally well.
Officer Johnson is struggling to get to his gun, which fell as he was shot. Mullen is lulling to sleep the en route officers, by talking about Metallica.
“Sir, I don’t know what the fuck a cyberstalka is!!! I just took a call!!! We wasn’t here to hurt you!!! Please sir, I’m supposed to retire next week. Be wit my family. I don’t want to die like this.” Johnson is trying to plead with the Pigman, who has not bothered to tie up his robe.
“THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE!!!!!! THIS IS WHY I CALLED YOU!!!!! THIS!!!!!!” The Pigman is walking back and forth with his Chinese Glock. After what feels like an hour, the back up arrives and begins to surround the house.
“Come out with your hands up!” Yells an officer.
“DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE!?!?!? THIS IS WHY I’VE CALLED…….SO MANY TIMES. I WANT ALL OF YOUR BADGE NUMBERS!!! I WILL BE TALKING TO YOUR SUPERIORS!!!!!” The Pigman screeches as he walks outside. He is swiftly tackled and cuffed. The Pigman squeals all the way to the precinct. as Officer Johnson is sped off to the nearest hospital.
The next morning, officer Mullen visits Johnson in the hospital.
“Hey, bud. How’s it going?” Dan asks, with a weird tone he does for no fucking reason.
“I’m alright, thank the Lord. Guess that guy was accurate, but not precise. Dumbass missed everything that mattered. Guess I’m gettin to retire early. How bout that bitch by the way? Lookin like a retarded elf.” Johnson says, looking at the sun as it rises.
“Hey, it’s not cool to make fun of women, alright. Seriously, not cool. Anyways, I appreciate you being my partner. Even if the whole night sucked. I got you something.”
Dan hands Johnson a wrapped box.
“Hope it’s cigarettes. All I need is a smoke and some henny, and I’m good to go!” Johnson says laughing. He opens the box to reveal an Amazon gift card, labeled $50.
“Well I’ll be seeing ya champ. Hey could you check out my new sports podcast when you get a chance? Like and subscribe if you enjoyed it!”
“Hahahahahahaha, that was spooky spookshow spectacular!”
“Boy, they sure didn’t want to buy those spooks, Todd!”
“No. They didn’t Scott.”
Officer Johnson looks over at his new partner, officer Mullen who had turned it on.
“You like this shit?” Officer Johnson asks.
“Yeah those phone calls are hilarious. Can’t believe people fall for those pranks!”
Officer Johnson switches the channel and lights a Kool cigarette. “Brick House” by The Commodores begins to play.
“Now this shit more like it.” Johnson says taking a drag from his cigarette.
“Mullen, right?”
“Yeah, that’s me. Just transferred from Boston.”
“How the fuck I get the only mick in a town of pollacks?” Johnson says grinning.
“Hey man. It’s 2022. We don’t say shit like that anymore. If I said that shit about you, I’d be suspended without pay.” Mullen is furious someone made fun of him.
“Well, that’s some tough shit potato nigger.” Johnson chuckles to himself as he looks out the window.
“You know, I only got a week left of this shit. Get to retire, go on vacation, come back, and die being nagged by my wife. The American dream.”
Dan is playing candy crush, barely listening to his partner.
“What the fuck you doing here from Boston? Ain’t shit do round here but get shot and drink yourself to death.” Johnson is watching the empty streets, trying to enjoy an easy night.
“Some shit went down. My wife lost her job. I was forced to transfer. I don’t want to talk about it. It still hurts a lot. Had to abandon my friends.” Mullen is almost in tears. He looks out his window to avoid being made fun of.
“Tough break. Hope you like it here. Freeze yo damn dick off. Then in the summer, yo lucky it don’t get shot off. Welcome to MKE.”
“We need the closest car available to respond to 2613 N Oakland Ave. We cannot discern the incident.” The police scanner blares.
Johnson looks over at Mullen.
“Well, guess that’s us mick.” Johnson grabs the radio. “We’re headed there now.” He then looks over at Mullen. “Buckle up, nigga.”
Johnson turns on the siren and speeds away. The brisk summer air seeping in from the slightly rolled down window. Johnson thinks about his retirement. He finally made it nigga. He finally got his.
As they pull up to the address, Johnson senses something eerie. The air feels different. The wind begins to pick up. As the rain falls heavier.
“Hold on a second, Mullen. Something here don’t seem right. Be on your guard. Something’s fucked up here.” Johnson begins getting out of the car, looking around the area.
“Yeah, what makes you say that? How did you contribute with that? Is that your bit? You try and scare the new guy? Seems pretty low effort.” Mullen responds in a snarky, trying not to sound pissed off tone.
“Just trust me on this Mullen. Something ain’t right.”
Johnson begins walking up the stairs to 2611. He realizes it’s the wrong address and that it’s a dilapidated duplex. He begins walking slowly up the creaking stairs of 2613. He places his hand near his firearm, preemptively. Dan repeats his action, not really getting why. Johnson knocks on the door.
A small autistic woman opens the door. She’s very unkempt, wearing a “They’re trying to kill us!” sweatshirt.
“Yes officers, is there a problem?” She says avoiding eye contact at all costs.
“Sorry to bother you ma’am but, we got a call to this residence. Dispatch couldn’t make out why, so they sent us here just in case. Is everything alright?” Johnson replies as he looks around the run down hovel.
“Uhh yeah. Everything’s fine. My friend and I must have been being too loud. I’m sorry.”
As the woman finishes her statement Johnson notices a large black man jumping out the window. “Heh. Keep on keeping on brother.” He thinks to himself.
“Well if I could just get your name, and some info, we’ll be on our way.”
“My name is Nikki Robinson.”
“Does anyone else live here with you, Nikki?”
“Yes, my husband.” Nikki responds staring at the ground.
“And where’s your husband at tonight?”
“He’s over at hooli-“ Just then, what can only be described as a man with pig-like features, wearing a bathrobe, naked, appears.
“He’s got a gun!” Mullen yells. Officer Johnson quickly reaches for his gun, but it’s too late. The Pigman had already open fired and hit Johnson.
“Officer downs, officer downs!” Screams Johnson. Mullen quickly runs at the being. He tries to take him down with the jiu-jujitsu his wife taught him, but fails. He runs out of the hovel and away from danger. Hiding behind his squad car.
“THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU SWAT ME!!!!! I HAVE CALLED YOU SO MANY TIMES!!!! AND YOU DO NOTHING!!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA!?!?!?!?” The Pigman screams. Nikki has run off into the quietest corner she can find. Not because she’s afraid, but because of all the loud noises.
“EVERY TIME ONE OF MY cyberstlaker’S CALLS SOMETHING IN…..YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO CALL…….ME!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS…….FOR FOUR…..FUCKING YEARS!!!!!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA!?!?!?!?” The Pigman is stuck between crying and screaming. He is clearly not mentally well.
Officer Johnson is struggling to get to his gun, which fell as he was shot. Mullen is lulling to sleep the en route officers, by talking about Metallica.
“Sir, I don’t know what the fuck a cyberstalka is!!! I just took a call!!! We wasn’t here to hurt you!!! Please sir, I’m supposed to retire next week. Be wit my family. I don’t want to die like this.” Johnson is trying to plead with the Pigman, who has not bothered to tie up his robe.
“THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE!!!!!! THIS IS WHY I CALLED YOU!!!!! THIS!!!!!!” The Pigman is walking back and forth with his Chinese Glock. After what feels like an hour, the back up arrives and begins to surround the house.
“Come out with your hands up!” Yells an officer.
“DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE!?!?!? THIS IS WHY I’VE CALLED…….SO MANY TIMES. I WANT ALL OF YOUR BADGE NUMBERS!!! I WILL BE TALKING TO YOUR SUPERIORS!!!!!” The Pigman screeches as he walks outside. He is swiftly tackled and cuffed. The Pigman squeals all the way to the precinct. as Officer Johnson is sped off to the nearest hospital.
The next morning, officer Mullen visits Johnson in the hospital.
“Hey, bud. How’s it going?” Dan asks, with a weird tone he does for no fucking reason.
“I’m alright, thank the Lord. Guess that guy was accurate, but not precise. Dumbass missed everything that mattered. Guess I’m gettin to retire early. How bout that bitch by the way? Lookin like a retarded elf.” Johnson says, looking at the sun as it rises.
“Hey, it’s not cool to make fun of women, alright. Seriously, not cool. Anyways, I appreciate you being my partner. Even if the whole night sucked. I got you something.”
Dan hands Johnson a wrapped box.
“Hope it’s cigarettes. All I need is a smoke and some henny, and I’m good to go!” Johnson says laughing. He opens the box to reveal an Amazon gift card, labeled $50.
“Well I’ll be seeing ya champ. Hey could you check out my new sports podcast when you get a chance? Like and subscribe if you enjoyed it!”
