Now for the headline that would be the best end cap to this sorry episode for Patrick.

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

Corpulent local author dies of heart attack at Hooligans East Bar and Grill Monday Night Meatloaf Buffet

(AP) Milwaukee-

An overweight local (self proclaimed) stand up comedian and poor selling science fiction author passed away on a bar stool crying and shoveling plates full of meatloaf down his hog snout, Patrick S Tomlinson, 41 of Rivereast is the decedent. In lieu of flowers please donate money to the Uncle Paul Weimer (alleged) child porn defense fund. Only you can stop puritanical conservatives from imprisoning (alleged) pedophiles!

(Parody is not defamation. Child)

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

He is survived by a daughter who is surprisingly normal and well-adjusted

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

He is survived by a daughter who is surprisingly normal and well Adjusted.

he is survived by his (allegedly not using him as a beard) wife Niki M Robinson, 40 (barren womb), her many African American gentlemen callers, and his biological daughter Annabelle Snyder, whom by the grace of god is raised by a real man named Lord Jonathan Snyder of Portage, Wisconsin.

 

[guest]

He is survived by a daughter who is surprisingly normal and well-adjusted

And by all accounts decidedly nonplussed upon hearing the news.