Meet Swat Swatterson

[BudDickman]

Here he is dispensing expert advice on how to handle swatting even though he had never been swatted at this point: https://nitter.poast.org/stealthygeek/status/1161752212026134529

Swat just has an innate understanding of how swatting works, because his father laid copper wire across the country for the Bell Telephone Company while his mother was a telephone operator.

Swat was conceived on a switchboard while all the other girls watched and cheered.

 

[BudDickman]

At the age of 2, Swat was given a rotary phone as a gift. He took it apart and converted it into a digital phone, which is the basis for all modern cell phone technology.

 

[HR@PaneraBread]

If law enforcement comes to your door, theyr'e probably not going to realize how much distress you are in. Flailing your arms wildly and telling them how stupid they are should help engage them in a fulfilling conversation. If they fail to comply with your every demand you should try striking one of them to assert your dominance.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Here he is dispensing expert advice on how to handle swatting even though he had never been swatted at this point: https://nitter.poast.org/stealthygeek/status/1161752212026134529

"How important is flailing around and screaming at the cops?

Swat was conceived on a pinball machine while all the other barflys watched and cheered.

 

[Black Pat]

If law enforcement comes to your door, theyr'e probably not going to realize how much distress you are in. Flailing your arms wildly and telling them how stupid they are should help engage them in a fulfilling conversation. If they fail to comply with your every demand you should try striking one of them to assert your dominance.

Then sue them for demanding to see your wife on an emergency call that you murdered your wife as someone who pled no contest to planning to murder your wife.

 

[Honoria]

If they think something's wrong with your wife, go to the door and scream that your wife is fine and that they need to leave immediately. They won't find this suspicious or the actions of someone who has killed their wife.

Make sure to take a swing at a black officer. This will make your case much stronger when you release the footage.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

If they think something's wrong with your wife, go to the door and scream that your wife is fine and that they need to leave immediately. They won't find this suspicious or the actions of someone who has killed their wife.

Make sure to take a swing at a black officer. This will make your case much stronger when you release the footage.

I want to see bodycam footage of a nigger screaming LEAVE HERE AND NEVER RETURN! at a bunch of cops and see what happens. Ol Pig Privilege Tomlinson

 

[SFWA liaison]

"those social media posts that are mean? report them!"

amazing insight, I'm sure the cat lady readers never thought of that until Pat enlightened them

"but also DO NOT report MEEEEEEEEE because I'm a special boy and it's a felony"

 

[Rodeo Clown]

Here he is dispensing expert advice on how to handle swatting even though he had never been swatted at this point: https://nitter.poast.org/stealthygeek/status/1161752212026134529

Swat just has an innate understanding of how swatting works, because his father laid copper wire across the country for the Bell Telephone Company while his mother was a telephone operator.

Swat was conceived on a switchboard while all the other girls watched and cheered.

Sir the large ILECs are very good jobs and while being a lineman placing cable is not as skilled as shooting a cross battery using a breakdown set to weld a solid short and finding the fault and clearing it while repairing the air circuit to keep it from failing again they do pay the same rate. Phone men have been making a 100k since the early 90's with their OT and premiums. Sitting in a bar for 3 hours while clocking time on a broken cross connect you took as fixing a conductor in the cable is an art form that paid like 150 bucks in 2003. Get the name of the phone co out your fucking mouff.

 

[despacito69]

Here he is dispensing expert advice on how to handle swatting even though he had never been swatted at this point: https://nitter.poast.org/stealthygeek/status/1161752212026134529

Swat just has an innate understanding of how swatting works, because his father laid copper wire across the country for the Bell Telephone Company while his mother was a telephone operator.

Swat was conceived on a switchboard while all the other girls watched and cheered.

I can't wait for a "Tommy the Cock Cable Guy" spinoff.