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Real writers just write the book.
Hacks count the pages.
Total fat fakes count the words.
Hacks count the pages.
Total fat fakes count the words.
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It's hilarious that he takes so much pride in his word count per day when you realize he's tweeted more than he's written towards his stupid book since he started. It also averages to about 300 words per day.
Fat lazy swine.
Fat lazy swine.
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His lame Xmas book isn't even a good fit for a novel. That kind of corny shit shouldn't be more than a short story. Fucker is so desperate for sales, he's trying desperately to make a full-sized book out of a small, throwaway concept.
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In his infamous Space Chili's scene form In the Black, two corporate executives have an impromptu meeting to discuss corporate espionage. He spends multiple pages describing the Chili's and the egg rolls which has no bearing on the story at all. The story in this chapter is an illogical mess. The waitress that takes their order just happens to be a spy.
None of this is thought out. How would this spy know when and where these two executives would meet when they scheduled the meeting just 15 minutes prior? Pat forgets stuff he wrote two pages prior. The spy was somehow able to order and server their egg rolls even though she doesn't work there. Nothing of importance to the plot was actually discussed (well besides egg rolls). The fake name the spy gives just happens to be her real name which is idiotic on so many levels.
None of this is thought out. How would this spy know when and where these two executives would meet when they scheduled the meeting just 15 minutes prior? Pat forgets stuff he wrote two pages prior. The spy was somehow able to order and server their egg rolls even though she doesn't work there. Nothing of importance to the plot was actually discussed (well besides egg rolls). The fake name the spy gives just happens to be her real name which is idiotic on so many levels.
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His next book should be called In The Red
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Last week I had to put together an investment paper. I did the research and planning on Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesday I wrote and edited it. Monday and Tuesday I worked on it for about 6 hours a day. Wednesday was 4 and change to write it, about an hour and a half to check through. There were a few charts and graphs in there but it came in at just over 15000 words and 33 pages. 3 (not even full) days work. Fat has taken almost 3 months to write 14000 words of partially plagiarised gibberish.
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I used to write 1,000 words a day about all the niggers and spics that didn't see the need to have valid insurance, current license plates, or working taillights. Then a few thousand more when I'd tow the fuckers and find drugs.
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When you're in the zone and really immersed in a story as a professional you're not thinking about "how many words to I have to write before I can get back to Hooligans".
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Quality over quantity, child
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Back to Hooligans? Nooooooooooooooo, child.
In order for Patrick to write, he needs to be AT Hooligans and a couple drinks in. Getting drunk at Hooligans is not a reward after a long, sober day of writing. It's what he fatly considers his office.
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Keep in mind, many people have written short stories inspired by Rick. No one has ever included the word count. If you combined all of them, accounted for time, you would probably get more than Ricks current WiP, in maybe 15-20 hours of work max. That’s including people doing a quick review for basic mistakes. He’s a fat lazy retard is the crux of what I’m getting at here.
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Not when you're Patrick.
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Much more appropriate now he can't afford to pay Quasi
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I guarantee you he thinks he has to go to Hooligans to write. He doesn't think "if I get X words I can reward my hard work by going to Hooligans" - he thinks "I'll be able to get X words if I go to Hooligans where I can relax and let the Muse suckle my titties"
Pat's entire life is based around not doing actual work and trying to just get paid for being the Special Creative Boy. He LARPs as all these creative roles - author, comedian, intellectual - and genuinely thinks he's too good for an actual job despite having plenty of time during the day to work and also write if he'd just pry himself away from TV and Twitter.
He's also a bit overweight.
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This is his version of someone going to the library to work on school stuff. Slobby slob
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If you pressed him on this he'd likely respond with, "A non-linear and unconventional narrative is part and parcel of good writing, child", and babble on about Hitchhiker's Guide or something.
The crucial thing is that good writers get away with quirky prose and flaunting established conventions because they're good. They're able to bend the rules because they're talented enough to weave a compelling story in spite of the artistic handicap they place on themselves, and they're awarded praise accordingly. Hack writers see this and try to ape a certain style without understanding what makes it work or their own personal limitations.
End result is a whole subclade of naturally bad authors with no desire to improve added on top of that, because they've convinced themselves that their glaringly flawed writing is not a bug but a feature, a cruise control of penmanship that all the masters are using. Pat definitely falls into this category. He's legitimately bad at expressing himself in written English even in an informal conversational setting, but he's so far up his own ass that he thinks his awkward idiosyncratic writing style is actually profound.