Just got done watching The Matrix 4

[HotDogJoe]

Holy fucking shit is it terrible. Truly fucking awful.

I didn't even go into it wanting to hate it either. It's just garbage though. It's nothing more than a 2 and a half hour long nostalgia-fest for the first movie. The plot makes zero sense, the aesthetic is just weird, the action is so forgettable and the supporting cast are shite. It's the most pointless, most self-indulgent movie I have ever seen.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I'm going to make a prediction now that Patrick is going to declare it as being a masterpiece of cinema. Something truly profound, brave and revolutionary. In fact, I predict he'll say it's the best film of the franchise. I predict at least a 5-part tweet sperg fest once he's done seeing it saying how brave "Lana" is for making this movie without her "sister" and that it's the best movie he's seen in years.

Load of ol' fucking shite.

 

[Will Tate]

That's all well and good, but the proper proTocol in this situation is to review Pat's books on GoodReads and post spoilers.

 

[Cuphead]

Be a shame if someone spoiled it for him

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

So that means pat is going to love it and post about watching it for the 5th time.

 

[Joe_Cumia_Eats_HUMAN_SHIT]

Did you know it was directed by two twin trannies? They're Jews too!

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

The first reviews came out last week and they were already saying it was bad but piggy tweeted some “wrong, child” shit that the movie will be amazing even after reviews from matrix fans said it sucked. Pat will claim it’s the greatest movie ever and oink that anyone who disagrees is an evil racist Nazi bigot. Pat claimed they cast Keanu specifically for his ethnic background when in reality they wanted Johnny Depp, Val Kilmer, Will Smith, etc and Keanu was suggested by the studio since they had success with him on previous movies.

 

[guest]

That's all well and good, but the proper proTocol in this situation is to review Pat's books on GoodReads and post spoilers.

The gay black marine (actual character in one of Fatty’s books) powerbombs Fonald Plump through a tranny’s anus and everyone clapped.

 

[Cuphead]

The first reviews came out last week and they were already saying it was bad but piggy tweeted some “wrong, child” shit that the movie will be amazing even after reviews from matrix fans said it sucked. Pat will claim it’s the greatest movie ever and oink that anyone who disagrees is an evil racist Nazi bigot. Pat claimed they cast Keanu specifically for his ethnic background when in reality they wanted Johnny Depp, Val Kilmer, Will Smith, etc and Keanu was suggested by the studio since they had success with him on previous movies.

It seems even most critics are saying it's shit too

 

[guest]

Holy fucking shit is it terrible. Truly fucking awful.

I didn't even go into it wanting to hate it either. It's just garbage though. It's nothing more than a 2 and a half hour long nostalgia-fest for the first movie. The plot makes zero sense, the aesthetic is just weird, the action is so forgettable and the supporting cast are shite. It's the most pointless, most self-indulgent movie I have ever seen.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I'm going to make a prediction now that Patrick is going to declare it as being a masterpiece of cinema. Something truly profound, brave and revolutionary. In fact, I predict he'll say it's the best film of the franchise. I predict at least a 5-part tweet sperg fest once he's done seeing it saying how brave "Lana" is for making this movie without her "sister" and that it's the best movie he's seen in years.

Load of ol' fucking shite.

But did you laugh, cry, and cheer in all the right places, child?

 

[wbgreen]

Piggy just wants to go back to 1999 when he was half as heavy and, instead of being full of so much fat, he was full of optimism for the future. He's like Boomers who keep paying to see the Rolling Stones or insist they can jam with Blue Oyster Cult.

 

[Heyfellas]

Trannies are self indulgent narcissists

 

[HotDogJoe]

But did you laugh, cry, and cheer in all the right places, child?

No but Patrick will. The amount of unbelievably fucking corny scenes designed to get rubes like him out of their seat and clapping like seals is insane.

Just a few examples -

1. There's a part where Trinity (called Tiffany in "the real world" of this move) tells her husband to "Stop calling me that. My name. is. Trinity!! *kicks everyones' ass*
2. In one scene, one of the characters asks "how bad is it?" Other character "All the bad". No, I'm not making that up. Sound like dialogue you'd read in a certain fat sci-fi author's books?
3. It ends with Neo and Trinity flying off into the sky while a god awful cover of the RATM song from the ending credits of the original movie plays.

 

[guest]

Did you know it was directed by two twin trannies? They're Jews too!

One tranny. The other sat this one out.

I'll also echo the "Rick is going to think this is a cinematic masterpiece" sentiment but I bet he also tries to shoehorn Dems vs Republicans into it somehow.

 

[Cartoon Redux]

It ends with Neo and Trinity flying off into the sky while a god awful cover of the RATM song from the ending credits of the original movie plays.

I'm so glad they reproduced the gayest part of the first movie.

 

[42069]

Let’s be real the premise for the Matrix is awesome. The first movie was great. Every other movie sucked.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Let’s be real the premise for the Matrix is awesome. The first movie was great. Every other movie sucked.

Yeah the first one was great when it first came out. Pat acts like it changed his life. I watched the first one recently and it wasnt awesome as it was in 1999.

 

[guest]

Holy fucking shit is it terrible. Truly fucking awful.

I didn't even go into it wanting to hate it either. It's just garbage though. It's nothing more than a 2 and a half hour long nostalgia-fest for the first movie. The plot makes zero sense, the aesthetic is just weird, the action is so forgettable and the supporting cast are shite. It's the most pointless, most self-indulgent movie I have ever seen.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I'm going to make a prediction now that Patrick is going to declare it as being a masterpiece of cinema. Something truly profound, brave and revolutionary. In fact, I predict he'll say it's the best film of the franchise. I predict at least a 5-part tweet sperg fest once he's done seeing it saying how brave "Lana" is for making this movie without her "sister" and that it's the best movie he's seen in years.

Load of ol' fucking shite.

Its not meant for us (people born 1980-1990) which is who the first Matrix trilogies was targeting. You have no idea how dumbed down the next generations are.

 

[Harry Powell]

The Wachowskis have grown on me. A lot of shit they did that I disliked at the time looks different to me now.

They are almost always extremely sincere and earnest. There is almost never any irony or cynicism to their work. I’m hearing that’s perhaps different in this one, but we will see.

They also seem completely unconcerned with commercial success. Take an Oscar-bait movie like Cloud Atlas. The insistence on using the same actors echoing through the eras in different roles makes it surreal and disturbing to watch for a mass audience but they committed to it. They could have made this one a straight up action sci-fi and got back in good graces with the mainstream, but I hear that’s absolutely not the case.

Similar to Shamalan, I consider a lot of their output unwatchable, but I’m glad it exists and I’m glad someone is doing something different - I’ve never seen a movie that looks like Speed Racer.

I also believe the first one went tranny out of a combo of degenerate sexual fetish and commitment to cyberpunk principles, which I can respect while personally disapproving of because she doesn’t seem as vocal about it. The second one seems to be a typical tranny cunt about everything and is really gay about the whole subject.

Anyway I’m gonna watch this shit.

 

[Jenna]

1. There's a part where Trinity (called Tiffany in "the real world" of this move) tells her husband to "Stop calling me that. My name. is. Trinity!! *kicks everyones' ass*

Well that's getting added to the "Get Angry, Stay Angry" playlist