Joe shares the secret to his success

[RoSmokedCrack]

 

[bumbum8]

Any singers here wanna verify?

 

[Faggot Boqposter]

Having a dry mouth makes the child spit taste all the sweeter

 

[Zeroman]

Eat a half of a bag, slowly? Does this chimp not realize that those are Lay's and nobody can leave a half bag?

 

[Sue Lightning]

Any singers here wanna verify?

I’m not a professional singer but I know this is fucking retarded bullshit for a couple of reasons:

A.) For your vocal cords to be at full strength they need to be lubricated. Smoking, eating dry salty shit, or drinking coffee can dry out your vocal cords making it harder to get a full range, no less hold a note, stay on pitch, whatever.
B.) I don’t need to bring up any evidence for this not working because you can just listen anytime Joe sings. His voice is extremely gravely and not perfect. He strains his face like he’s taking a shit to hit even the simplest of notes in his range because his vocal cords are so fried from potato chips, coffee, and whatever else.
C.) Joe is a fucking idiot who doesn’t know shit. He thinks Chinese Fender knock offs “sound like the real thing”, ignoring the piss poor body build that fucks with the acoustics and will probably break or become out of tune if you set it down lightly. He thinks picks made out of credit cards in an auto-cutter are just as good as factory made picks, again, ignoring that his homemade ones will have slight edges and differ in material that will fuck up the acoustics of whatever he’s playing. And he thinks salty chips strengthens your vocal cords despite it doing the opposite. This is a man who thought people would be impressed by a “uhh looper pedal, a DIGITECH looper pedal…” He’s a fucking baffoon.

 

[Sue Lightning]

It cannot be understated how big of a bafoon Joe is. He’s like if you took a 17 year old beginning guitar player who fucks around doing covers using cowboy chords and gave him a modest career doing that. He would think he’s a fucking genius and “real musician” but if he was ever forced to come up with something or write something on the spot his brain would explode.

 

[1073waaf]

“Day 1 of an old school no-sugars, no-carbs, only healthy fats diet.”

 

[satanssockpuppet]

Joe is never merely shoveling food into his hideous gaping maw, he's actually making conscious, science-based, and healthy snack decisions. The only reason Joe crams half a bag of potato chips down his throat before a gig is that he's an obese pig who starts to panic the second he feels "hungry" or his belly starts to gurgle. Going an hour and a half, two hours without food is like hell to him. But to hear him tell it, the chips are actually an old musician's trick he learned during his long and storied music career, which, ironically enough, suddenly became very important to him right around when his brother lost his lucrative radio gig. It's just so funny how he can't stop eating or even stop thinking about food for even a second.

 

[guest]

I'm pretty sure honey is what the guys who do metal vocals use to help soothe their throats. Of course fried garbage is probably a great subsititue

 

[HipTuckerCumia]

Katy Perry Reveals a Unique Singing Trick (Involving Potato Chips!) in American Idol Sneak Peek

Katy Perry shares one special thing in common with a contestant on the upcoming season of American Idol

people.com

Why Dolly Parton Just Eats Potato Chips When Recording an Album

Dolly Parton eats potato chips and not much else when she's recording an album — the Queen of Country has a specific reason for that.

www.cheatsheet.com

 

[hikomow633]

Is this before or after swallowing the apple cider vinegar and habanero pepper "tonic" that his waterhead also reccomends?

 

[ElectricLightKazooII]

Cows love salty treats!

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

He totally just learned about this on the internet. There is no way he has been using this idea for years and he never mentioned it. Reminds me of when pat posted about cutting a pumpkin from the bottom for halloween like he has been doing it for years and he is sharing his trade secrets to the plebs.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

He strains his face like he’s taking a shit

 

[UnPRePared]

Any singers here wanna verify?

What the fuck do you think?

If something can affect your health, it can effect your voice too. This lummox thinking a salt bomb of fried potatoes helps the voice proves how brain dead he actually is.

You hydrate properly, keep your passages from being dried out (saline helps), and you warm up to it. No magic food or special drink - though I'm partial to very warm water.

I can't begin to express how ashamed I am of Joe for that bloody post. Like he's not even fucking trying to sound convincing.

 

[guest]

I've heard of singers gargling with warm salt water. I've heard of tea with honey. I've never heard of snarfing half a bag of dry trans fats. Joe - the moron that keeps giving.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']