It’s 8:42am, New Year’s Day.

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I’m getting ready to go for a walk and enjoy a beautiful south Florida morning before having a nice cup of coffee (boom, dude). Then I’ll cook some breakfast and do some work around the yard. If I have time, I’ll go down to the beach for a swim later.

Patrick S. Tomlinson, on the other hand, is probably still asleep in bed / on the couch. He’s going to have a nasty beer hangover, followed by a liquid shit. His eyes will be red and dry, half opened for the entire day because he’s pushing 42 and still thinks it’s cool to drink like you’re 19. As he wipes the sleep out of his eyes, his refrigerator-built “wife” probably rolls on to her back and scratches her undoubtedly hairy twat through her boxer shorts.

His daughter is probably waking up to her awesome dad, Jon Snyder, cooking a nice breakfast if flapjacks with *actual* maple syrup, maybe a few pieces of bacon (as a treat), maybe some nice fruit.

Nice way to begin a new year, you fat slob.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

Bragging about waking up early is "cringe," as the kids say. And, yes, I also wake up early.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

I’m getting ready to go for a walk and enjoy a beautiful south Florida morning before having a nice cup of coffee (boom, dude). Then I’ll cook some breakfast and do some work around the yard. If I have time, I’ll go down to the beach for a swim later.

Patrick S. Tomlinson, on the other hand, is probably still asleep in bed / on the couch. He’s going to have a nasty beer hangover, followed by a liquid shit. His eyes will be red and dry, half opened for the entire day because he’s pushing 42 and still thinks it’s cool to drink like you’re 19. As he wipes the sleep out of his eyes, his refrigerator-built “wife” probably rolls on to her back and scratches her undoubtedly hairy twat through her boxer shorts.

His daughter is probably waking up to her awesome dad, Jon Snyder, cooking a nice breakfast if flapjacks with *actual* maple syrup, maybe a few pieces of bacon (as a treat), maybe some nice fruit.

Nice way to begin a new year, you fat slob.

I'm picturing Big Jon and Ade smirking as he yells out "Who wants pancakes?!" And all the kids yell "Me!!!!"

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Bragging about waking up early is "cringe," as the kids say. And, yes, I also wake up early.

I wouldn’t call it waking up early, I really wanted to highlight how the new year begins for a fat child abandoner vs someone who’s relatively normal.

 

[guest]

His daughter is probably waking up to her awesome dad, Jon Snyder, cooking a nice breakfast if flapjacks with *actual* maple syrup, maybe a few pieces of bacon (as a treat), maybe some nice fruit.

Nice way to begin a new year, you fat slob.

Don't forget that before PCJ made some pancakes, he deposited a load of batter into Ade first.

 

[guest]

Bragging about waking up early is "cringe," as the kids say. And, yes, I also wake up early.

Whoa dude, you’re telling me you don’t like posts that matter of factly state the time and then brag about mundane shit like how early he woke up and what beverage he’s drinking?

My favorite is [URL='https://new.onaforums.net/threads/it-is-just-now-11-00-am.5637']It is just now 11:00am[/URL]- loved the direction of stating he had green tea and cold water rather than regular water in that one.

 

[N64 Cube]

Don't forget that before PCJ made some pancakes, he deposited a load of batter into Ade first.

Hopefully it’s a big load.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Whoa dude, you’re telling me you don’t like posts that matter of factly state the time and then brag about mundane shit like how early he woke up and what beverage he’s drinking?

My favorite is It is just now 11:00am- loved the direction of stating he had green tea and cold water rather than regular water in that one.

Child, there’s no need to get hostile I was just trying to have fun at a fat author’s expense.