Is failure in the blood?

[Easily_Remembered]

We know by now that the name "Tomlinson" is synonymous with failure - it's not uncommon to see it used in such a manner (i.e., "Boy, you really Tomlinson'd that whole thing", or "No offense, but man, you've really been a Tomlinson lately. Everything all right?").

But is failure hereditary? We know that Mama Raven was a school counselor who fucked up her children mentally, and only experienced success fucking truckers for rent money. Patrick's insistence that Papa Tommy had no less than 20 different unique careers indicates only that he was a dopey failure unable to keep a job.

And the children? Oofta. Pat is Pat - failed author, failed comedian, failed husband, failed father. Lost his blue checkmark. Lost his defamation case. Tomlinson'd his attempts at a YouTube channel.

Little is known about his brother, other than, like Pat, he was somehow capable of marrying out of his league the first time, only (like Pat) to Tomlinson that marriage. He went on to be such a sex pest that his ex-wife had to file a restraining order against him.

So what are your thoughts? Is failure in the blood? Did Mama Raven roll two gutterballs for children? Are they all fat?

 

[Opesterino]

I use the phrase 'tomlinson' throughout my day if/when I fuck something up. Spilled a bit of my coffee ? I did a Tomlinson. Hold the door for a female and she doesn't look back or say "thank you" ? I'm a Tomlinson. Feeling kinda lazy and don't want to go for a job ? Stop being a Tomlinson and get going!

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

No, Annabelle will be quite fine with her healthy upbringing.

Judith Tomlinson had Rick upside down with a pitchfork up his ass.

 

[guest]

Remember the other Patrick? Patrick J Tomlinson? His rap sheet is even longer than Fat's...

The Tomlinson bloodline is a cursed one.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

His branch of the Tomlinson tree must be diseased because I know a Tomlinson in my personal life and she's, believe it or not, a smart, successful and attractive woman. The rest of her family is equally successful.

They should have cut off that fat branch back in the 1800s and sold them off to a sideshow.

From the (no shit) Wisconsin Historical Society:

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

We know by now that the name "Tomlinson" is synonymous with failure - it's not uncommon to see it used in such a manner (i.e., "Boy, you really Tomlinson'd that whole thing", or "No offense, but man, you've really been a Tomlinson lately. Everything all right?").

But is failure hereditary? We know that Mama Raven was a school counselor who fucked up her children mentally, and only experienced success fucking truckers for rent money. Patrick's insistence that Papa Tommy had no less than 20 different unique careers indicates only that he was a dopey failure unable to keep a job.

And the children? Oofta. Pat is Pat - failed author, failed comedian, failed husband, failed father. Lost his blue checkmark. Lost his defamation case. Tomlinson'd his attempts at a YouTube channel.

Little is known about his brother, other than, like Pat, he was somehow capable of marrying out of his league the first time, only (like Pat) to Tomlinson that marriage. He went on to be such a sex pest that his ex-wife had to file a restraining order against him.

So what are your thoughts? Is failure in the blood? Did Mama Raven roll two gutterballs for children? Are they all fat?

he's a real tomlinson is right up there with being Munson'd