If I were a great big fat person

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'd demand that people only refer to my size as "large and in charge." If anyone ever called me fat, obese, overweight, etc. I'd assault them.

 

[HR@PaneraBread]

pretending to have a good sense of humour about some personal defect and flying into a murderous rage whenever it crossed some arbitrary threshold you've outlined to no one but yourself would be a PFG bit

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

pretending to have a good sense of humour about some personal defect and flying into a murderous rage whenever it crossed some arbitrary threshold you've outlined to no one but yourself would be a PFG bit

Women are, once again, one step ahead of you.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

WWAWD Wardrobe of only cargo shorts, Big Dog T shirts and extra wide New Balances?

 

[Meownaw]

WWAWD Wardrobe of only cargo shorts, Big Dog T shirts and extra wide New Balances?

I would wear this.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

I would wear this.
View attachment 126118

I just bought my dad a Father's Day gift from there with a dog fishing and a fish on the line:

I LOVE A GOOD POLE DANCE

they've got the boomer humor on lock, funster. and--this is relevant for an O&A audience--they go up to 6XL.

 

[Meownaw]

I just bought my dad a Father's Day gift from there with a dog fishing and a fish on the line:

I LOVE A GOOD POLE DANCE

they've got the boomer humor on lock, funster. and--this is relevant for an O&A audience--they go up to 6XL.

This one rules

 

[Maybe even kiss you]

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Lookin large and in charge with the jorts, Kev.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

Lookin large and in charge with the jorts, Kev.

Big Dog Energy

 

[Turk February]

I'd walk around with my zipper undone and a shirt Weiner sticking out through it, unbothered if not unaware as I can't see it. Maybe have a crushed icecream sandwich I can't reach sticking out of my back pocket. I'd loudly ask for extra toilet paper at the burger king cuz Ive got a "big one in the chamber". I'd be pretty annoying.

 

[Jenna]

I'd go on disability welfare and spend all my government benefits on fast food. I wanna spend $50 at Taco Bell, have no leftovers, and then have painful diablo sauce shits in the shower because I'm too hefty for the toilet. That would just be a regular lunch to hold me over til dinnertime.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'd go on disability welfare and spend all my government benefits on fast food. I wanna spend $50 at Taco Bell, have no leftovers, and then have painful diablo sauce shits in the shower because I'm too hefty for the toilet. That would just be a regular lunch to hold me over til dinnertime.

That's the life.

 

[BrotherMan1488]

Fatties trying to get in on the "oppressed hierarchy"

 

[Turk February]

I'd go on disability welfare and spend all my government benefits on fast food. I wanna spend $50 at Taco Bell, have no leftovers, and then have painful diablo sauce shits in the shower because I'm too hefty for the toilet. That would just be a regular lunch to hold me over til dinnertime.

I've got great news. You can do that without being fat. It's actually not bad once you get used to the boredom.

 

[BrotherMan1488]

Lookin large and in charge with the jorts, Kev.

He was mistaken for a random Neckbeard on a airplane flight he was "asked' to de-board cuz his weight

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

He was mistaken for a random Neckbeard on a airplane flight he was "asked' to de-board cuz his weight

"I'm sorry, sir. You're too large and in charge to fly on this airline."

 

[LiberalPussy]

I’ll call you a cholesterol nigger and you’ll like it.

 

[aRTie02150]

How do you not feel stupid dressed like that?

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Install a central mashed potato system: on-demand pressurized mash from heated slurpee-style dispensers in every room. I'd have a special one set up like a periscope for the toilet. I have drawings of this somewhere, will upload if I find them.