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I can’t stop thinking about this urban lady trying to cook a Sheperds Pie

Honey Badger

Honey Badger

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I understand why "Wypipo don't season food" is a thing now. If this is the standard we're being held to, then I'm happy to disappoint. I recommend watching the whole video as it's a fascinating look into "urban" culture, but here's the cliff notes:

First 4 minutes: There's an unnecessarily long intro of the camera panning around Food Lion brand groceries before we meet Tip, our charismatic cook!

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Her ebonics are strong so here's a glossary: Folks = forks
Kerryg...uh-huh...butta = butter

4:30 Here's where the fun starts. Potatoes have been cooked and she starts adding cream...and more cream....and Jesus Christ more cream
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5:15 Talks about how her patience was tested..,probably due to someone showing her disrespek
6:00 She's adding Cajun Seasoning to the potatoes. Quick Reminder this is a shepherd pie recipe
7:54 Jesus Christ, she empties the remaining carton of cream / lies that the carton was only half full
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9:00 she starts seasoning the ground beef
9:30: Adds half a bottle of worcester and ketchup each (she claims this is three tablespoons)
10:40 She adds pepper, more cajun seasoning, garlic powder, and onion powder (which is missing a lid), cumin, paprika, and finally salt. The dumping of seasoning goes uninterrupted for a full minute. You can no longer see the beef underneath the various powders
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13:00 She adds a roux to her beef. I'm actually impressed! It still looks like shit though
14:45 Time to put all ingredients into the baking tin. She makes it a point to repeat twice that it's clean for some reason
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15:15: Empties meat into tin. It doesn't look objectively terrible but probably tastes like the residue at the bottom of a bag of pretzels
15:30: Empties an entire gallon bag of Publix Colby Jack cheese
16:09 Adds a layer of frozen pees (essentially a sheet of ice) over the cheese layer
16:36: Now the potato soup from earlier. At this point my stomach started hurting and I actually had to take a shit before writing the rest
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17:45 She mentions the baking tin was purchased at the dollar tree. Why is she rewashing it for every casserole?

Those are all the highlights. Now let's see the final product.

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A mess. An absolute gelatinous mess.

Thanks for reading.
 
TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

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That last black chick I dated made amazing food but everything was spicy as fuck and had an obnoxious shit ton of seasoning in it. It was never bad but I'd just never think to use that much and I'm not stingy with the shit either. You know how most people use like one or two bay leaves? She made this bomb ass pasta one time and there was like 10 bay leaves in it.
 
Honey Badger

Honey Badger

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TheGhostOfAbeVigoda said:
That last black chick I dated made amazing food but everything was spicy as fuck and had an obnoxious shit ton of seasoning in it. It was never bad but I'd just never think to use that much and I'm not stingy with the shit either. You know how most people use like one or two bay leaves? She made this bomb ass pasta one time and there was like 10 bay leaves in it.
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I don’t think bay leaves actually do anything. Yet another scam we’ve all bought into. And I can’t confirm how, but I bet Jews are profiting from it.
 
Africa.com

Africa.com

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I worked with a nigger I'll call Big Nigger Kenny, because that's what we called him behind his back. We often had nights where the front and back of house staff would get together and have a cookout. BNK would make his Mommas Mac and cheese. But he'd always premade it. It wasn't terrible but it was nothing special. He didn't one time and it was Velveeta with 2 chicken ramen packets mixed in.
 
PogromStallone

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Ants Hard Drive of Horror said:
I'm pretty sure black people have higher mortality because they live farther from health care facilities. Anyone suggesting it is related to dumping a bottle of sugary ketchup in your casserole because you're too dumb to taste things is just misinformed.
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On this season of Big Brother, there is an old black lady on the cast and she has been making food for the entire house. You wouldn't believe how fat everyone has gotten. Someone also complained of constant headaches which makes sense when you see how much salt and "seasoning" they dump in the food. On guy one the cast is an Olympic swimmer and entered the house ripped, now he has a double chin. One time they showed her making potato salad and she dumped everything into a bowl and mixed everything with her bare hands. She's also constantly farting and sitting on other people's beds ripping things off her feet and cutting nails on them.
 
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