I can't even buy FUCKING cucumbers anymore without everyone thinking they're for sticking up my ass

[Brooke Shields]

Every single time I buy one I can tell that's what everyone is thinking when they see me, "Oh boy there goes Brooke again with the cucumbers he puts up his ass."

So I try to solve this problem by buying 2 cucumbers cause if i'm going to buy a cucumber to stick in my ass then why would I get 2 when 1 would do perfectly fine.
And then I come up to the counter and sure enough I can see the cashier thinking "Gee Brooke, 2 cucumbers? You can fit 2 of those up your asshole?"

It's not like I can buy 3 or 4 they're just going to keep on thinking they're only for sticking up my asshole BUT THEYRE NOT

 

[Meownaw]

Just buy a dildo with them. Problem solved.

 

[Kim_Jong_Poon_]

I'm an eggplant man myself

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

I saw a lady buy like 6 cucumbers last week and that is exactly what I thought.

 

[Cyberatorquer]

Buy either baby cucumbers or pre-cut and marinated in vinegar.
Also stop dressing and acting gay, have better control of yourself

 

[aRTie02150]

I don't like buying toilet paper because the cashier knows I'm using it for fun and ass wiping.

 

[CuntFucker]

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Zucchini is really the more cock like option

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

I worked a lot of retail jobs in my younger days and the only time I was even remotely interested in someone's purchase was when som girl bought a "Diva Cup" when I worked at Whole Foods. It's some kind of reusable menstrual thing for hippie chicks.

 

[Steve Ramone]

If you buy lettuce too, people will think you're making a salad. Then you can stick the lettuce in your ass.

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

I worked a lot of retail jobs in my younger days and the only time I was even remotely interested in someone's purchase was when som girl bought a "Diva Cup" when I worked at Whole Foods. It's some kind of reusable menstrual thing for hippie chicks.

Damn, hippie chicks stink already, now add a heaping dose of penny eww

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

This is one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever read and I can't stop chuckling

 

[Kim_Jong_Poon_]

If you buy lettuce too, people will think you're making a salad. Then you can stick the lettuce in your ass.

It's called a Mediterranean Butt Salad

 

[Meownaw]

This is one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever read and I can't stop chuckling

Check out the 8 day left on the stove taco meat one.

WWAWD expiration dates?

share what you know is safe to eat DESPITE what the ""expiration date"" is I have no idea why hot sauce says to refrigerate after opening, but that's basic shit ranch is completely fine after being left out for 2 weeks at least milk is only ever bad if you can smell or taste that it's bad, so...

new.onaforums.net

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

Check out the 8 day left on the stove taco meat one.

WWAWD expiration dates?

share what you know is safe to eat DESPITE what the ""expiration date"" is I have no idea why hot sauce says to refrigerate after opening, but that's basic shit ranch is completely fine after being left out for 2 weeks at least milk is only ever bad if you can smell or taste that it's bad, so...

new.onaforums.net

Lotta fawkin problems in that thread.

 

[eggfeller]

i’d start bringing a gun with me & explicitly telling people at the store to NOT think that. maybe even scream it upon entering just to get it out of the way

 

[Meownaw]

Lotta fawkin problems in that thread.

I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

 

[guest]

Are you a real woman?

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Check out the 8 day left on the stove taco meat one.

WWAWD expiration dates?

share what you know is safe to eat DESPITE what the ""expiration date"" is I have no idea why hot sauce says to refrigerate after opening, but that's basic shit ranch is completely fine after being left out for 2 weeks at least milk is only ever bad if you can smell or taste that it's bad, so...

new.onaforums.net

Jesus some of you niggas need to kill yourselves

 

[Brooke Shields]

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