I Am Straight

[Gay Faggot.]

Thought I’d let everyone know, I’m a boring, Cis white male, who enjoys having sex with women. There’s nothing interesting about me. I have tons of gay and trans friends who are all way cooler than me, and I have to protect them from white supremacists on a daily basis. Everyone should be aware of this.

 

[HotDogJoe]

Thank for your bravery. I would also like to clarify that I'm a boring, white, straight cis male who definitely doesn't fuck other men in the ass nor have any desire to do so.

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

Thought I’d let everyone know, I’m a boring, Cis white male, who enjoys having sex with women. There’s nothing interesting about me. I have tons of gay and trans friends who are all way cooler than me, and I have to protect them from white supremacists on a daily basis. Everyone should be aware of this.

That being said, would you jerk off in front of another man whilst making eye contact?

 

[Gay Faggot.]

That being said, would you jerk off in front of another man whilst making eye contact?

Yes. Eye contact is what makes it incredibly hetero, bigot.

 

[guest]

What could be more hetero than two guys sucking and fucking each other? That’s so alpha.

 

[guest]

[MEDIA=youtube]3CYE6H3uDFo[/MEDIA]

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

I was once in a gym locker room, actually it was a bar, no it was actually a biker bar. There was a guy there, actually there were 3 of them, no 4, who were saying bad things about trans people. Actually, it was about brown trans people. One of them, the biggest one, actually he was a giant, he held up his hand thinking I would high-five him. Instead I krav maga to put him in an armlock, actually I remember now it was jiu jitsu and I folded him into a pretzel. It was a bear claw. The other three ran off. Actually I beat them too. No, a police officer stopped me because he was worried I would kill them. Then he asked for my autograph. Actually, he asked me to train him. In fact, he asked me to train his whole squadron in Jiu Jitsu. And krav maga and karate. I did that and then drank 10 bears. Actually, it was 20.

Etc.

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

What could be more hetero than two guys sucking and fucking each other? That’s so alpha.

Its almost a primal urge really. The urge to fuck anything with a warm hole is an ancient part of our dna. Cant be gay if its pre-programmed, amirite??

 

[guest]

Its almost a primal urge really. The urge to fuck anything with a warm hole is an ancient part of our dna. Cant be gay if its pre-programmed, amirite??

That’s what i tell myself to be able to look at myself in the mirror.

 

[FurBurger]

I’m also a boring, cis hetero white male who enjoys having sex with women; and who has never let another man fuck him up the butt at a scifi convention after a tearful request from my wife to do "something, anything to make this marriage sexually interesting".

Has anyone asked him if his wife is faithful to him?

 

[Cumiace]

Have you been the victim of any heterophobic hate crimes?

 

[Gay Faggot.]

Have you been the victim of any heterophobic hate crimes?

No because that is not possible. Being so boring and hateable it’s not worth anyones time. It’s the LGBTQ+ , who are having fun, because whites hate that. As an ally it is my job to assure everyone I’m straight, and boring. That way they are protected.

 

[DanFielding]

TYFYS. Your courage is an inspiration to us all.

 

[guest]

I also like doing sex with hot chicks. If I'm not doing that I'm fixing cars while drinking beers. Fuck yeah!

 

[Random username]

I like tits. Big tits. Because I am a straight white male. Big tits and pussy. really. I like those.

 

[Meownaw]

This took a lot of courage I think you deserve a blue checkmark and not just one but multiple movie deals.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

So so so so so so so you’re saying it’s OK to pal around with guys who jerk off to KP?

 

[JoeCumiaDotCom]

My wife is cis and I don't care who knows it!

 

[Cygnus Nana X-1]

So you're saying that you aren't a gay faggot? I'm not sure what to believe anymore. The world moves fast, child.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

So you're saying that you aren't a gay faggot? I'm not sure what to believe anymore. The world moves fast, child.

It’s 2022. What does being a gay faggot have anything to do with being gay? Fucking bigot.