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How much you want to bet this guy is in the SFWA?

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'Sorry, Danny. Mike says he's quit sleeping around, drinking, and partying after his 36 months in jail for assaulting me with a hammer. He wants to be a family man now. I have to give my child a chance with his real dad. If you could just leave the house and car keys on your way out, that'd be great.'
 
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