how accurate was office space?

[CarolMaxheinie]

These days, it seems like any company with more than a hundred employees has AOC as its HR manager. They've sucked all of the fun out of corporate America. I currently work for a firm with two offices and thirty employees. There are no HR managers and every employee is white. I'll never get a million+ partner or CFO salary working for a small firm or company, but it's not like I'd get that job in corporate America anyways. It's no longer about being the best and the brightest. It's about ticking some diversity boxes and making sure you don't wind up in the HR office because some fat chick overheard you making fun of fat chicks with some co-workers.

I ran an incredible startup that topped out around 120 full-time techs and engineers, with another 100 or so contractors more-or-less full time. One of my ironclad rules was “no HR interference”. I had a chick who ran my benefits, I contracted payroll shit to ADP, and any required training was farmed out to the most-efficient bidder. Anybody with a problem, no matter how small, came directly to my #2 man who I titled Director of Job Satisfaction. No AOCs, no crippled blind lesbian nigger diversity hires…I hired dedicated hard working people who shared the vision, did their part, and shared in the profits.

When I sold it, I broke off a seven-figure amount from my stake and paid bonuses to everybody there based on their tenure. It doubled or tripled most of their salaries. It’s how small firms should do it in my opinion and it’s why when I come back - and I will - I’ll have no problem retaining the very best talent to help me build my next enterprise.

Modern business is run by ignorant MBA trash. I have an MBA and I know first-hand that it’s mostly PC garbage that can be safely ignored.

 

[Mr. Faggotry]

I’m pretty fascinated by people that have well paying 9-5 jobs. I’ve been a waiter and bartender my entire adult life. Made some great money pre-Covid working in a big city. Nowadays with a family I’m totally tired of the lifestyle.

The customers are pretty faggoty at this point too, most act like you’re required the same amount praise as a cop, firefighter, military, for bringing a goddamn plate to the table.

Its a living and a step above Panera but I’m considering taking on some pretty shitty remote sales jobs, insurance or anything to get away from it. Unfortunately it’s a “skill” that doesn’t really translate well to anything else besides shit like real estate, which many of my former coworkers have gone into.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

I’m pretty fascinated by people that have well paying 9-5 jobs. I’ve been a waiter and bartender my entire adult life. Made some great money pre-Covid working in a big city. Nowadays with a family I’m totally tired of the lifestyle.

The customers are pretty faggoty at this point too, most act like you’re required the same amount praise as a cop, firefighter, military, for bringing a goddamn plate to the table.

Its a living and a step above Panera but I’m considering taking on some pretty shitty remote sales jobs, insurance or anything to get away from it. Unfortunately it’s a “skill” that doesn’t really translate well to anything else besides shit like real estate, which many of my former coworkers have gone into.

Give mining a try? Don't need experience, pass the drug test and you're good. OJT everything.

 

[Udders]

I ran an incredible startup that topped out around 120 full-time techs and engineers, with another 100 or so contractors more-or-less full time. One of my ironclad rules was “no HR interference”. I had a chick who ran my benefits, I contracted payroll shit to ADP, and any required training was farmed out to the most-efficient bidder. Anybody with a problem, no matter how small, came directly to my #2 man who I titled Director of Job Satisfaction. No AOCs, no crippled blind lesbian nigger diversity hires…I hired dedicated hard working people who shared the vision, did their part, and shared in the profits.

When I sold it, I broke off a seven-figure amount from my stake and paid bonuses to everybody there based on their tenure. It doubled or tripled most of their salaries. It’s how small firms should do it in my opinion and it’s why when I come back - and I will - I’ll have no problem retaining the very best talent to help me build my next enterprise.

Modern business is run by ignorant MBA trash. I have an MBA and I know first-hand that it’s mostly PC garbage that can be safely ignored.

I wish more people were like that, I'd work my ass off and give 10x the effort for a boss/head man I respect no matter what the pay was.

And yes, while Office Space is satire, as someone else said, anyone who's worked in an office environment can relate to something in that movie.